A still from Bikini Bandits, the winning "Spirit of the Festival" feature film at the San Antonio Underground Film Festival.

The 9th Annual San Antonio Underground Film Festival got its name from the Express-News, who refused to print the original title: the Golden Shower Video Festival. Whether you're into water sports or not, take a ride on down to the Alameda for the only independent film festival that awards a lowriderbicycle as the grand prize. The three day event will feature shorts and features. For more information, visit

San Antonio Underground Film Festival Schedule

Noon-11pm Fri, June 20
10am-11:30pm Sat, June 21
11am-6pm Sun, June 22
$8 admission
Alameda Theater
318 W. Houston St.



Fighting Irish (103min) The true story of New York Nightclub bouncer Sean McCarthy and his personal three-year war with an entire biker gang.

Surface Calm (18min) A nervous housewife finds an old chain that triggers a series of attacks against herself as she slowly loses her grip on reality.

You Are An Ocean (3:20min) Sit back, listen, and watch as Jeff Drew makes his musical debut.

Ready, Set, Mow! (8min) In the small town surrounding San Antonio, gear-heads build and drag race riding lawnmowers that go zero to 60 in three seconds flat.


Just Like Golf (26min) Documents a school bus demolition derby in rural Little Valley, New York, and the drivers who crash their way to glory.

Famous Irish Americans (8min) A look at the secret history of some of our most overlooked Irish-American citizens.

Jack Shorts (10min) Four scenes involving a security guard named Jack. First, singing in bathroom. Second, Jack saves lady from robber. Third, smoking habit. Fourth, computer love.

The Basic Ingredients (2min) See how a few basic ingredients of a movie intertwine with a husband getting revenge on his cheating wife.

Smithee's Lecture (24min) Five students in a mad rush to attend a lecture given by famous Hollywood director, Alan Smithee.

Olive Or Twist (55:07min) Traces the history of the U.S. through the Martini, from the industrial revolution to present. 5:45pm

C-Flat (1:43min) Experimental.

The Morning Guy (5:15min) "The Morning Guy" is a comedy about just how long a wife can put up with her husband's particular way of expressing himself.

Not Color Blind, Just Near-Sighted (4:30min) A "colorful" critique of racial classifications and identity, by way of the filmmaker's account of a routine trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles in Alabama.

Graduation Day (105min) A young man sits in his cubicle daydreaming of the two women who are pulling his heart in opposite directions.


12 Hot Women (3:34min) A short film that makes light of what really sells in Hollywood.

Broken Repair (11min) Gregg Rounds' film chronicles the bizarre and hilarious events that surround the theft of a legendary rodeo saddle from the Broken Spoke, a world famous honky-tonk in Austin, Texas.

The Tool (8:33min) A slapstick comedy about a mild-mannered contractor and the illegal migrant worker who steals his heart.

Chaqueta (10min) After student DJ ZEJAX is denied employment in Mexico City radio stations, his peers set out to restructure his career into cinema via the casting couch.

Out of Sync (86min) After watching one of her videos, John, a lonesome porn addict, kidnaps Tammy Wild, an amateur porn star, believing that she has asked him to rescue her.


Stunt C*cks (8:30min) The story of Bill and Earl, two kind hearted, young men who have taken their severe sexual dysfunction and used it to turn the adult film industry into a business filled with family, friendship, and love.

2nd Place Winner
Lolita-Slave to Entertainment (58min) Experience the disquieting life story of a 37-year-old captive performing whale that was taken from the wild in 1970, and has been caught in a net of lies for 33 years.

Making of the Bikini Bandits (5:33min) Behind the scenes of "Bikini Bandits."



Another Flush (13:37min) Three extraordinary pieces of poop overcome extreme adversity and wide discrimination to find love, dignity and strength.

The Mortician's Hobby (11:44min) Tiffany, a high school student, reluctantly takes an internship at a funeral home.

Spin 6 (98min) In what could be a desperate plea for attention, Seth disappears. The story is told from the perspective of all those who knew him.


Panelist Discussion/Q&A: Financing Your Independent Project


Toss of the Coin (12min) A dark, ironic Terry Gilliamesque comedy about a game of chance played by emissaries from heaven and hell over possession of a man's soul.

Water From the Moon (8:30min) Live action marionettes and inspired by the Brothers Quay, it is like a fable - very simple with magical realism. It is the story of a lonely washerwoman who discovers a winged man in her closet.

Match Scratch Fever (3:05min) In this elegant parable of what might be called the downside of resolve and the perils of self-actualization, a wooden match senses its density, and sets out on a single-minded mission to fulfill it.

Changing The Earth: The Dean Dirtbug Story (12min) A mockumentary filmed in stop-motion animation that tells the story of Dean Dirtbug, who becomes a hero by saving his hive from destruction.

El Baile Mestizo (2:20min) A short clay-animation with an experimental look at the subject of racism: shown through the violent "dance" of two haggard figures.

Tunanooda (10min) A story of lifeguarding and lunch making.

The Search for the Great White Ale (17min) It is a sad day in Meadville after Derf the Viking has drunk all the town's honey-brewed mead.

Extreme Bible Stories: "Don't dis Elisha!" (4:24min) Bobby, Suzy, and their friends find that childish hijinks can have fatal consequences when they make the mistake of teasing the wrong Old Testament Prophet.


The Soft Hustle (90min) Guns. Drugs. Sex. Clever dialogue. What more could you want?

The Lucky Rabbi (13min) An addicted gambler makes a dangerous wager with his loanshark to get out of the hole.

Bad Jokes (4min) Three very short shorts: "My Brother," "Anything," "36"

El Tentacion de San Tomas (10:40min) Short narrative piece about a poverty-stricken Mexican immigrant who is given the chance to change his life for the better, when a mysterious man gives him a deck of cards.

Golliwog's Cake-Walk (53min) The silent journey of a nameless NYC filmmaker and the extent to which he'll go in keeping alive his illusion of eternal love.


17. Gutter Ball (16min) A short film that has nothing to do with bowling. This Corrosion (75min) Subtly explores mental disorders while following the unraveling of a young woman haunted by her past and her impossible future.

Grand Prize Winner
Never Trust A Serial Killer (84min) An eccentric Chicano's obsession with catching a serial killer turns his "roommate's" world upside down.


Spirit of the Festival Winner
Bikini Bandits feature (54min) Featuring Corey Feldman, Dee Dee Ramon (as the Pope), Jello Biafra, & Maynard James Keenan as Satan (Tool lead singer). A hilarious tribute to Russ Meyer films and "outlaw" television shows of the '70s.



To Be John Woo (33min) Film geek Tyler Deacons has always craved adventures like those had by Hong Kong action heroes. This has been a dream of his that has been built up in his mind after indulging on a steady diet of films directed by the legendary John Woo. Now with a twist of fate, he's getting his chance to live out his fantasies.

Little Bart Needs a Job! (14:14min) Follows Bart through one day of artistic and sexual frustration.


The Camera is Your Friend (27:04min) Texas' psychedelic group, Crevice, wanders the highways of the Lone Star State, looking for outer space, coffee, and a place to tie up their horses.

Beauty is… (11min) Through interviews, images, and animations this film gives an idea of what beauty is.

Man's Best (5min) Harry suspects his wife's new dog is a spy. After weeks of mental torment, Harry decides to take his matters into his own hands and rid his home of the unwanted intruder.

Daddy's Doll (10min) Following his wife's funeral, Alfredo finds that his daughter, Esperanza, wants to pick up an old doll from the house of her childhood. As he rummages through years of memories, Alfredo's search for the doll becomes a desperate quest, as nothing from his family's past is quite the way he remembers it.


Come Lovely (10min) Short.

Koan (3min) A koan is a riddle or a question, but one that has no correct answer - it is a paradox to be meditated upon as a way of getting away from pure reason. The additional images flashing on the screen represent thoughts that occur while meditating-including ones that hint at transformation, sexual fantasy, and perhaps our own mortality.

Video Calibration (1:30min) Recovers the repressed vaginal figure evoked by the visual structure of mirrored videos and reflects on the structuring technology of video playback.

Clam Up (7min) Experimental.

Starship Exeter: The Savage Empire (35min) With an eye for detail, amateurs on a shoestring budget, in exacting '60s style, painstakingly reproduced all the sets, props, costumes, and visual effects.


The Travelogue (13min) Experimental.

Fast Food (19min) A whimsical look at the odd side of Mobile Marketing.

Mount Everest: Up Close and Personal (16:35min) A documentary about being middle-aged, about a country that is beyond describable beauty, about friendship and coming home.


My Narmada Travels (22min) Told from a personal perspective, "My Narmada Travels" explores the plight of indigenous people living near the Sardar Sarovar Dam in India. Getting perspectives from both government officials and the people, the filmmaker wonders if the plea to bring over 24 million people water and power is worth the displacement of over 500,000.

Tributo a La Gloria (6:45min) This short documentary charts La Gloria through its heyday and the battle to keep the building standing.

Nigger or Not? (28min) A provocative documentary exploring black American's use of the word "nigger."


The Tourist (26min) Due to worsening socio-economic conditions, by the mid-'90s Cuba had become the biggest sex tourist destination in the Western hemisphere, with plane loads of mostly single, white, middle aged foreign tourists invading her shores.

3rd Place Winner
Harrison Macauley is Going to Kill Me (68min) Harrison Macauley is an eccentric social misfit who keeps a mental list of people he wants to kill. Most of his friends think that he is just about ready to crack, and when they decide to film a documentary about his life, he is pushed to his limits.

Hot and Bothered: Feminist Pornography (37min) Takes a rare and empowering look into the pornography industry and feminist community to see how they intertwine within the politics and poetics of female sexuality. •

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