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The Art Of Writing Passive-Aggressive Post-it Notes 

click to enlarge BRYAN RINDFUSS
  • Bryan Rindfuss

Address a broad and vague audience. This applies regardless of the number/gender of people you live with.

Deflect your thoughts to a secondary source. "If you need any assistance on how to use the washing machine, please refer to ehow.com."

Make sure to include "I'm not the only one who thinks so" or some other way of letting them know that you are speaking for every roommate, or society as a whole.

Suggest dire consequences.

State the obvious.

Over-explain, as if you're speaking to a child. You understand that at 19 it can still be really hard to figure out where the cups go. Maybe your roommate just needs an outline on how to physically lift the cup from the coffee table, walk five steps to the sink and put it down.

State a solution to the problem as patronizingly as possible. Then completely rationally and reasonably let them know that you're open to their opinion on the matter. Because really, if you have a better solution to eliminating the pile of dishes you've left in the sink for the past month, I'm ALL EARS. Seriously.

Leave in the most inconvenient location possible to ensure maximum exposure.

Always include "please" and "thank you" along with an abundance of exclamation points.

Ensure they know that their actions are absolutely outside the scope of your brain's comprehension. And you just cannot even begin to understand how anyone would think it's OK to borrow your blender without asking.

Bonus!

Use anthropomorphism! You don't want the freezer space (which you mutually agreed upon as yours), your poor smooshed popsicles do!


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