The DEA Will Pay You If You Can Burn 1,000 Pounds of Marijuana Per Hour, but There's a Catch

dankdepot via Flickr Creative Commons
The U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency has reportedly been flooded with calls after announcing that it's seeking Houston-area contractors to "burn pot and other seized drugs."

According to a report from Houston's KHOU, the DEA was interested in hiring contractors to torch 1,000 pounds of marijuana per hour for at least eight consecutive hours per day.

Obviously, this got the attention of enthusiastic potheads. Enough "local citizens" were interested that the agency actually sent a statement to the TV station.
"Although we appreciate local citizens' willingness to offer their help, this is a complicated, large-scale government contract we're required by law to bid every few years, and there are usually only a handful of companies with the necessary facilities and resources to help us dispose of this material. While it makes for an interesting headline, the truth is far more prosaic - our agents working across the Houston Division make a huge number of great cases, and as a result, we seize a tremendous amount of illegal drugs. Arranging for the save and effective destruction of these drugs is just part of the job."
The "complicated" portion of the job requirement refers to contractors having to incinerate items ranging from papers and cassette tapes to pharmaceuticals and, of course, weed. Contractors will also need to do their own employee background checks and drug tests (darn), and acknowledge that the DEA can conduct separate background checks on personnel.

But here's the biggest catch of all — the agency will require the contractor to have a closed-circuit camera so it can view video to make sure evidence is being "properly" destroyed.

Sorry folks, that probably doesn't include rolling a huge-ass joint with the confiscated kush.

If you've read this far and are legitimately looking for work, the job runs through September, according to KHOU. Work will be performed in facilities throughout Texas, including San Antonio.

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