Wonder Wall

Months back, when reports began circulating about Al
creeping across our southern flank, Queque got those practiced patriotically cold chills. Once we were certain we’d feared and loathed sufficiently to be considered a Good American, we started to think.

We recalled stories from decades back. Libya, now a reformed WOT (War on Terror) ally, was the perceived instigator back then, and known narco (OK, post-assassination props in order: Drug Lord) Pablo Acosta pledged to assist the FBI in their surveillance: “This is our country, too,” he told the woman he was sharing with a federal agent across the river. (It’s a very cozy relationship, this War on Drugs.)

We ran down our favorite border sheriff, one whose county had been specifically mentioned on FOX News, no less. He told Que2 that the worst he had seen was one undocumented crosser with a “Jihad” tattoo. Another arrestee sported an ever-fashionable Bin Laden appliqué on his denims. He had no intel on where such merch may be acquired for you late holiday shoppers, however.

Now, as the blogosphere is heating up with warnings that Congress has stripped the $8 billion in fence-building fundage (as of Tuesday, the figure sat at a liberty-threatening $1.2 billion) from the omni-bustling budget bill, we are drawn to other rumblings from the north. Specifically, a joint report issued by the Northeast Intelligence Network and Canada Free Press, that chronicles Islamic terror cells training in Toronto and across the U.S. Southeast. Recruitment’s on the rise in prison populations (life sentences for SCWB — slinging crack while black — can inspire the craziest delusions of persecution) and gathering sharpshooters at places like Islamberg, New York, they report.

It all leads Queque, admittedly no terror-threat analyst on par with the wonderworkers at the CIA, to wonder just where we need this wall, after all. I’d prefer our contribution be used for personal flack jackets and a FRAG kit for the undercarriage of our ruby Kia.

Burro for Buzzards

A friendly reminder to you state-parks goers: You can walk on the grass — but don’t go eatin’ it. Those precious forbs and grasses of Big Bend Ranch State Park specifically are spoken for. One by one the burros of Far West Texas have been finding that out the hard way. Burro by burro and bullet by bullet, Texas Parks & Wildlife officials have been clearing out the Spanish-introduced beasts of burden so game species like pronghorn and mule deer can fatten up for a paying clientele.

However, the slow-motion slaughter was interrupted after muckrakers at The Big Bend Sentinel alerted the community that 71 donkeys had been dispatched in the last 12 months in the unannounced and unplanned cull. Since then donkey-lovers have gone ballistic and at least two Parks employees have retired in protest. The deceased were sans voce on the topic, their corpses thoughtfully left for the bone-pickin’ buzzards and coyotes.

Now California-based Peaceful Valley Donkey Rescue has entered the scene, with a meeting with the killers set for January, and plans for a possible trap-and-relocate program. But as DR Director Mark Meyers put it, “A bullet’s a lot cheaper.” Incensed passions can cool quickly when the costs of more humane programs take shape. (Read: Send money quick, and scribble “Big Bend Project” on that check.)

Since no parks money will be muddying the rescue effort, the least our TP$W could do is work a reasonable management plan for our “non-
native guests” so future crowd control doesn’t involve bloodshed.

Here’s hoping your live nativity is spoken for in the Savior-shouldering donkey department.

Shelter in place?

As NRG’s VP mysteriously dumped almost 25,000 company shares last week, the new nuclear-plant owner and prospective operator of twin newbie nukes at South Texas Nuclear Project has some ’splaining to do.

The U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission is asking plant operators to elaborate on their security policies (No, you don’t get to see it, you potential monkeywrencher!), with a special focus on sleeping guards.

“Several of our licensees have had instances of inattentive security officers,” said Roy
, director of the Office of Nuclear Security and Incident Response. “While multiple layers of defense at each site maintained its security, the NRC is concerned that, collectively, these incidents are a sign that some licensees are not giving appropriate attention to the effectiveness of this portion of their security programs.”

For San Antonio’s 40-percent-power solution, South Texas Nuclear Plant, there will likely be detailed references re: why one-third of private security contractor Wackenhut’s guards have repeatedly stated that they knew of fellow officers who had been harrassed by management for raising potential security concerns at the plant.

For more on this item, you’ll have to check on our Curblog. We’re out of ink.

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