THE QUEQUE 

Ducking and covering since 2001

Firm in the belief that what you don’t know can’t hurt Those Who Matter, the Queque heartily endorses the recent findings of St. Mary’s own Center for Terrorism Law (Air Force-funded researchers on behalf of “law which terrorizes,” but only in pursuit of the greater cause of Security), which presented a white paper to the National Press Club in November tallying up the post-9/11 state laws that limit public access to such juicy tidbits as “Where is Governor Perry’s secret basement?” “How does the Texas National Guard plan to get all those dog-paddlers out of Galveston if the refineries blow?” and “What kind of shape are those I-35 bridge spans in?”

(Queque also approvingly notes that CTL is keeping up with the spirit, if not the letter, of the crackdown by making it damn hard to find “State Open Government Law and Practice in a Post-9/11 World” on its site, stmarytx.edu/ctl.)

Texas, natch, is first among equals, clamping down on freedom of information in all six areas identified by the study: Critical Infrastructure, Cyber Security, First Response, Political Structure, Public Health, and Terror Investigations — making us safer by a ranchland mile than those optimistic fools in Wisconsin, Minnesota, and South Dakota — which latter territory is apparently willing to give its citizens any damn document they get it into their heads to ask for. Queque has half a mind to liberate Mount Rushmore from those infidels (They can keep their monument to that traitor Crazy Horse.) Why, Jefferson must be spinning in his grave ...

What’s that? You’d like to request a copy of “A Summary View of the Rights of British America”? We’re sorry, but that material is no longer available to the public.

 

Pussy Poder

Queque’s first experience with homo-on-felis violence came in Mississippi. A wiry landlord (not exactly “sky-clad” but in tight-fitting briefs) erupted from his back door in the wee hours with an air pistol, clacking dodgingly after a dusky bush yeowler.

When the New Mexico School of the Mines-educated potter retreated hazily back into his home, Queque lit a smoke and went back to strumming on his stoop, inspired with a new (true) urban folk narrative to undergird sedating repetitive chordage.

Then came Galveston’s ornithologist-cum-cat killer, Jim Stevenson.

Apparently obsessed by the notion that feral felines gobble up endangered migrating avians, the bird-lover went ballistic with something more substantial than a pellet gun and wound up charged with cruelty to animals.

A jury, obviously divided between cat fanciers and bird devotees, deadlocked, and the judge dismissed the case.

Now Stevenson, according to the Galveston County Daily News, appears to have fled the Coast after declaring someone took a shot at him. Refusing to cooperate with investigators in the supposed attempt on his life, the man featured in this week’s New York Times Magazine told the local paper he feels like a “walking abortion clinic.”

May we humbly suggest that with a pending vote before the San Antonio City Council set to legalize the nurturing of feral cat colonies in SA (OK, they have to be trapped and de-sexed before any actual nurturing takes place), folks keep a lookout for a tallish, weirdish, cat-hater with a Galveston accent often seen fumbling with duck-beaked speculums and compulsively “inspecting” his man breasts for irregular lumps.

 

Glowing NRG

As much as Queque enjoys writing on specicism and speculums, there is more to this slow-motion collision called life: there is nuclear power, our personal favorite cellular-death accelerator.

This week, CPS partner NRG Energy “cleared their first hurdle” with the Nuclear Regulatory Commission, to use tired J-school jargon. The Commission accepted the company’s application to build and operate two new plants on the Texas coast. In a well-timed bit of public-relations ecotage, this member of the U.S. Climate Action Partnership, a collection of some of the nation’s largest Superfund polluters now lobbying Congress for the regulation of carbon-dioxide emissions (As an associate says: Cui Bono? Who benefits?), got busted by a faux press release.

Published by the Dallas Morning News website, the release issued by clean-air-and-earth-loving “radicals” at Rising Tide, included a fake USCAP website in the spirit of The Yes Men, and pledged the members to cutting greenhouse-gas emissions by 90 percent by 2050 and declared a moratorium on new coal plants.

For NRG that would pose some problems. Beyond the deception over greenhouse gases and nukes (yes, they are in there), it seems the New Jersey company is knee-deep in coal plant holdings with ambitions for particulate-rich Limestone County.

Whatever you do, don’t tell the cat killer coal-plant smog and Strontium-90 kill birds, too. That’d start some monkeywrenchin’ up for sure.


Calendar

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.