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"Toxic, Burned Out, Brain-Dead" 

An abridged list of the men and women we couldn’t dump and run fast enough:

• Tom DeLay, corrupting one server at a time. Viewer comments from the first 75-minutes of his December-released, that were immediately taken down: “You left Congress disgracefully and you want people to take you seriously? You should be in prison you assclown, piss off Tom.” And “Tom, when you’re locked up, will you smuggle blog posts out in your visitors’ rectums?” and the simple poetry of a “Fuck you, Tom.” Now all comments have to get through editor approval

• John Bolton, the U.N. placeholder who bolted after it was clear the Dems would be in control

• Pastor Ted Haggard, the self-proclaimed deceiver and liar, outed for meth use by a male prostitute

• Corrupt congressmen Randy “Duke” Cunningham, who accepted a yacht/bribe named the Duke-Stir, and Bob Ney, who proposed “freedom fries” in 2003 (their wives still collect their guvment checks — congressional pensions — while they do their prison bids). Related to Casino Jack Abramoff, who did his best Lee Major Fall Guy impression this year, too.

• Mark Foley, reason behind the proposed Page’s Law to protect the tight-butted teens in congressional reach

• Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, who was counter-betrayed by the very apparatus of defense (the uniformed leadership of the Army! Navy! Air Force! Marines!)

• Ken Lay, who still owes News Corp. a posthumous If I Had Bilked Enron book                    

• Katherine Harris, a musclehead who should stick to rigging elections, not running for office

• Bush, at 30-percent Zogby approval and holding up the Iraq Study Group’s “procrastination policies”

• And our number-one candidate now just litter sitting on the curb next to his dead Christmas tree: former Congressman and hometown zero, Henry Bonilla.

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Speaking of Special, 2006 Almanack

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