Twin pique 

Like many San Antonio stories, it begins at Fiesta.

In 2005, during a heated mayoral race that then Councilman Julián Castro eventually narrowly lost to Phil Hardberger, Castro and his twin brother, State Representative Joaquín Castro, were accused of purposefully duping the public by having Joaquín stand in on a river-parade float for Julián. At a press conference following the dustup, the duo placed the blame on an errant parade announcer and proudly boasted his-and-his “I am Julián” and “I am not Julián” T-shirts. We chuckled nervously and added Dave to our Netflix queue.

Four years later, Julián — the oldest by a minute, says mother Rosie Castro, recalling the longest 60 seconds of her life — has secured full-time mayoral responsibilities, while mirror-image Joaquín is busy with off-season Lege business. But Joaquín’s in-town office is awfully close to City Hall ... and maybe because of some primitive uneasiness about doubles (Romulus’s fratricidal attack on Remus; the ease with which adorable Haley Mills tricks her biological parents in The Parent Trap; the unfathomable popularity of the Olsen sisters), the impersonation conspiracy theorists have persisted — much like the Obama birther movement. Most recently, sources tell us, Julián pretended to be Joaquín at a library function, and news coverage of the purported swap was mysteriously quashed. Or maybe it was the other way around (Joaquín pretended to be the library function and Julián was mysteriously quashed.)

Perhaps you’re one of those who see double wherever they look — or maybe you just want to know whether you should say “Hello, Mayor,” or “Hello, Representative” when you spot one J. Castro at Tommy Moore’s Café. For all those occasions and more, we present a special QueQue Castro twin decoder. It’s simple by necessity, because, frankly, there’s not a lot to work with here. But if you do mess up, don’t be embarrassed, says Rosie Castro, “they realize that’s always going to happen.”


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