Rather than bore you with my opinions on this year's nominees for the 58th GRAMMYs, which you would just criticize and ridicule anyway, I present for you the 2016 GRAMMY nominees for you to tear apart and condemn yourself. Because, what the world needs now is more people convinced that their opinion is the absolute, empirical, end-all be-all interpretation of what is good and acceptable. So, get to trolling and name calling. (I am not listing all 83 genres in the interest of space and my carpal tunnel, so make sure to include that in your undoubtedly brilliant appraisal of this year's supposed best musical offerings).
Album of the Year
Alabama Shakes Sound & Color
Kendrick Lamar To Pimp a Butterfly
Chris Stapleton Traveller
Taylor Swift 1989
The Weeknd Beauty Behind the Madness
Song of the Year
Kendrick Lamar "Alright"
Taylor Swift "Blank Space"
Little Big Town "Girl Crush"
Wiz Khalifa feat. Charlie Puth "See You Again"
Ed Sheeran "Thinking Out Loud"
Record of the Year (Single of the Year)
D'Angelo and the Vanguard "Really Love"
Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars "Uptown Funk"
Ed Sheeran "Thinking Out Loud"
Taylor Swift "Blank Space"
The Weeknd "Can't Feel My Face"
Best New Artist
Courtney Barnett
James Bay
Sam Hunt
Tori Kelly
Meghan Trainor
Best Pop Vocal Album
Piece by Piece Kelly Clarkson
How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful Florence + The Machine
Uptown Special Mark Ronson
1989 Taylor Swift
Before This World James Taylor
Best Rock Song
"Don't Wanna Fight" Alabama Shakes
"Ex's & Oh's" Elle King
"Hold Back the River" James Bay
"Lydia" Highly Suspect
"What Kind of Man" Florence + The Machine
Best Rock Album
Chaos and the Calm James Bay
Kintsugi Death Cab for Cutie
Mister Asylum Highly Suspect
Drones Muse
.5: The Gray Chapter Slipknot
Best Alternative Music Album
Sound & Color Alabama Shakes
Vulnicura Björk
The Waterfall My Morning Jacket
Currents Tame Impala
Star Wars Wilco
Best Urban Contemporary Album
Ego Death The Internet
You Should Be Here Kehlani
Blood Lianne La Havas
Wildheart Miguel
Beauty Behind the Madness The Weeknd
Best R&B Album
Coming Home Leon Bridges
Black Messiah D'Angelo and the Vanguard
Cheers to the Fall Andra Day
Reality Show Jazmine Sullivan
Forever Charlie Charlie Wison
Best Rap Song
"All Day" Kanye West feat. Theophilus London, Allan Kingdom & Paul McCartney
"Alright" Kendrick Lamar
"Energy" Drake
"Glory" Common & John Legend
"Trap Queen" Fetty Wap
Best Rap Album
2014 Forest Hills Drive J. Cole
Compton Dr. Dre
If You're Reading This it's Too Late Drake
To Pimp a Butterfly Kendrick Lamar
The Pinkprint Nicki Minaj
Best Country Song
"Chances Are" Lee Ann Womack
"Diamond Rings and Old Barstools" Tim McGraw
"Girl Crush" Little Big Town
"Hold My Hand" Brandy Clark
"Traveller" Chris Stapleton
Best Country Album
Montevallo Sam Hunt
Painkiller Little Big Town
The Blade Ashley Monroe
Pageant Material Kacey Musgraves
Traveller Chris Stapleton
Best Gospel Album
Destined to Win (Live) Karen Clark Sheard
Living It Dorinda Clark-Cole
One Place Live Tasha Cobbs
Covered: Alive in Asia Israel & Newbreed
Life Music: Stage Two Jonathan McReynolds
Best Latin Pop Album
Terral Pablo Alborán
Healer Alex Cuba
A Quien Quiera Escuchar Ricky Martin
Sirope Alejandro Sanz
Algo Sucede Julieta Venegas
Best Latin Rock, Urban or Alternative Album
Amanecer Bomba Estereo
Mondongo La Cuneta Son Machín
Hasta La Raíz Natalia Lafourcade
Caja de Música Monsieur Periné
Dale Pitbull
Best Regional Mexican Music Album (Including Tejano)
Mi Vicio Mas Grande Banda El Recodo De Don Cruz Lizarraga
Ya Dimé Adios La Maquinaria Norteña
Zapateando Los Cojolites
Realidades Los Tigres Del Norte
Tradición, Arte y Pasión Mariachi Los Camperos De Nati Cano
Best Americana Album
The Firewatcher's Daughter Brandi Carlile
The Traveling Kind Emmylou Harris & Rodney Crowell
Something More Than Free Jason Isbell
Mono The Mavericks
The Phosphorescent Blues Punch Brothers
Best Blues Album
Descendants of Hill Country Cedric Burnside Project
Outskirts of Love Shemekia Copeland
Born to Play Guitar Buddy Guy
Worthy Bettye Lavette
Muddy Waters 100 John Primer & Various Artists
Best Folk Album
Wood, Wire & Words Norman Blake
Béla Fleck & Abigail Washburn Béla Fleck & Abigail Washburn
Tomorrow is my Turn Rhiannon Giddens
Servant of Love Patty Griffin
Didn't He Ramble Glen Hansard
Best Reggae Album
Branches of the Same Tree Rocky Dawuni
The Cure Jah Cure
Acousticalevy Barrington Levy
Zion Awake Luciano
Strictly Roots Morgan Heritage
Best World Music Album
Gilbertos Sambo Ao Vivo Gilberto Gil
Sings Angelique Kidjo
Music from Inala Ladysmith Black Mambazo with Ella Spiro & the Inala Ensemble
Home Anoushka Shankar
I Have No Everything Here Zomba Prison Project
For the full listings of 2015 nominees, poor grammar and all, visit GRAMMY.com
