Thursday, June 25, 2015

Today In Texas Poop News

Posted By on Thu, Jun 25, 2015 at 2:20 PM

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Well, shit. This week has not been a good one on the Texas fecal front. 

Austin is experiencing an outbreak of explosive diarrhea. According to Thrillist Austin, health officials in Travis County are investigating an outbreak of Cyclospora. Fifteen confirmed or probable cases of the intestinal viral illness were reported in the capital city just last week. Texas Department of State Health Services received a total of 42 reports of Cyclospora statewide.    

The Cyclospora virus is transmitted to humans who consume food or water tainted with fecal matter, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That agency adds that "foodborne outbreaks of cyclosporiasis have been linked to various types of imported fresh produce."

How do you avoid a viral onset of frequent, watery diarrhea? By literally washing the shit out of your vegetables. Health officials advise practicing food safety precautions, including thoroughly washing your produce. 

So far, the exact culprit of the outbreak has not been identified. 

Meanwhile, over in Galveston, the beaches are complete and utter shit. 

KHOU is reporting that 17 out of Galveston's 56 beaches tested high for fecal bacteria. The results were from a round of testing of the city's beaches on Tuesday morning, but the number of shitty beaches dropped to three after additional tests were conducted later the same day. 

So what gives? Well, officials are blaming the high fecal bacteria count on good ol' Tropical Storm Bill, which dumped massive amounts of rain on large areas of Texas last week. Waste is being carried by run-off to the Gulf of Mexico. 

While it sounds gross, the high levels of bacteria should not effect healthy adults, but the Environmental Protection Agency, which likes to poop on anything fun, recommends not swimming in water that is experiencing high levels.

Here in San Antonio, KENS5 is reporting that there were five sewage spills on the Northeast side last week. 

If this is too much shit to take, we recommend simply coming to terms with the fact that poop is everywhere and on everything. The sooner you accept that, the easier it will be to go through life.  

[h/t Thrillist Austin, KHOU and KENS5]

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