We’re about to piss some people off with this one, but sometimes you have to tell it like it is.
We love our San Antonio. In fact, it’s literally our job to sing its praises all day, every day. But that doesn’t mean it’s all wine and roses — or tequila and marigolds, if you will.
Turns out, you can love a place and have a litany of problems with it. Here are some of ours.
The lack of free parking downtown. Paying $40 on top of an $80 concert ticket? Guess I’m eating ice soup for the next week. Credit: Sanford NowlinThe Edgar debate. Both for and against the bowl-shaped haircut.Loop 1604. Or, more accurately, Parking Lot 1604.Fiesta.
Mainly the crowds and the questionable history. Paradoxically, Fiesta also appears on our “best things about SA” list. It’s complicated. Credit: Jaime MonzonGoing to the Alamo with every single relative who wants to visit.
The excitement wears off after the first 50 times. Credit: Shutterstock / 4kclipsBraving the throngs of tourists on the River Walk. It answers the question “What if the anxiety-inducing experience of Times Square had a river running through it for drunks to fall into?” Credit: ShutterstockAll the drunk bar fights by sucias and sucios. These actually are pretty entertaining until someone pulls out a piece and shit gets real. Credit: Twitter / EvillaTrulyOverpriced chicken on a stick. Does this pollo have a payment plan? Credit: Jaime MonzonGoing outside at all in the summer. If you’re that one friend who insists on dining outside even though we are in Satan’s armpit, just know we secretly hate you. Credit: Shutterstock / Ed ConnorNo big music festivals with relevant artists. This goes with the prior points about San Antonio music fans being cheap because they’re poor, but it also means that we have slim pickins when it comes to music festivals that actually have relevant bands on their lineup. Sugar Ray and Hoobastank? Goody. Credit: Wikimedia Commons / Justin HiguchiThe fact that all bars shut down at 2 a.m. Except for Libros (RIP). However, we have perfected the art of the house after-party. Credit: Stephanie KoithanA high drunk-per-capita. And those same drunks apparently need to get behind the wheel. We’re looking at you, members of City Council. Credit: Pexels / Energepic.comIt’s hard to date because everyone’s a primo. If you find someone who’s somehow not related to you, you’re legally obligated to reproduce. Credit: Wikimedia Commons / Steven PisanoSeemingly everyone in the dating pool already has kids. Nothing sobers you up quite like doing the awkward walk of shame past the kiddos while they have their Froot Loops.All the touring acts that skip us. If you want to see them, you’ll have to drive to Dallas. Credit: Instagram / beyoncePeople refuse to pay more than $10 at the door when seeing live music. When your city has a reputation for being cheap, bands stop showing up. Credit: Wikimedia Commons / cogdogblogLow wages. People can’t afford concert tickets because they aren’t making enough money to survive. Credit: Shutterstock / IzfOur music scene is smaller than Austin’s even though our city is much bigger. When people are unwilling to pay for live music, it doesn’t exactly foster an incubation environment for up-and-coming acts. Credit: Shutterstock / Roschetzky PhotographyAll the drunk tourists on scooters downtown. It’s a miracle more don’t get run over. Credit: Twitter / @curbedchicagoBig Red. This is going to make a lot of die-hards mad, but Big Red tastes like Red Dye Diabetes. We’ll take the barbacoa but you can keep the sickly sweet crimson soda. Credit: Shutterstock / Vershinin89
