¡Ask a Mexican!
Dear Mexican: What is it about the word “illegal” that Mexicans don’t understand? Mondo Minuteman Dear Gabacho: Take your pick, Mondo. Mexicans don’t understand the word “illegal” because: (A) when paying their gardeners, nannies, busboys and factory workers in cash (and forgetting to withhold payroll taxes), U.S. employers don’t seem to understand the word…
Sound and the Fury
S.E.L.F.-realization S.E.L.F., the four-headed creative monster hatched from local hip-hop collective Lotus Tribe, ushers in its new CD this week with release shows in San Antonio and Austin. S.E.L.F. (Self-Expression is Living Free) is the name applied to the combination of MCs Jason (TRINIT-i) Torres and Mark (The Reason) Gonzalez, MC/producer Jacob (Aura) Lopez, and…
TX Guide – Sweeps Session
Sweeps Session The YouTube election’s over, FOX has officially lost its Gallup grip, and so begins the rise of MSNBC. Keith Olbermann is veraciously counting down the first 100 Hours of the Congressional session while Joe Scarborough cocks the starter pistol to signal the head-on chicken game between Bush’s soldier surge and Congress’s budget hostage-holding.…
(Sometimes) laughing in State
David Maloof, Susan Riley, Lila Jean Potts, and Brett Thacker in Lying in State. Courtesy photo. Lying in State Fri-Sat, 6pm dinner, 8pm show $44.95 (plus tax) dinner and show, $25 (plus tax) show only Through June 23 The Church Theatre 1150 S. Alamo 271-7791 Churchbistroand theatre.com The topical humor of political comedy Lying in…
Once upon a Mattress
Jerid Morris of Great Northern Guns at The Mattress Factory. Photo by Francesca Camillo. The Mattress Factory 1907 S. St. Mary’s “It’s good to see all you hillbillies again. I’ve missed you,” Great Northern Guns vocalist Jerid Morris welcomed the crowd on Thursday, June 7, at The Mattress Factory. The Factory’s proprietress, Eva Trimm, is…
End User
Waiting in line to hear Steve Jobs’s MacWorld keynote speech this January, I thought I heard my Palm Treo ring. I looked down, but the screen was dark. I looked up, and saw five other people looking at their own Treos — only one of them was getting a call. That week, I had to…
The Unbearable Lightness of Paul
Paul McCartney is the most celebrated and ridiculed musician of our time. Generally, he’s celebrated for what he used to be (a driving force behind The Beatles, the most successful and acclaimed band in recording history) and ridiculed for what he subsequently turned into (a self-satisfied, thumbs-up peddler of sugary, greeting-card ditties). Of course, both…
Urine luck
David Alford, Beth Balzar, and Kim Stephenson in Urinetown. Photo by Alberto Delcampo. Urinetown The Musical 7:30pm Thu; 8pm Sat; 2:30pm Sun, May 20 Through Jun 2 $17 general; $15 senior, military; $10 student Sheldon Vexler Theatre 12500 NW Military 302-6835 Vexler.org I have to begin by admitting that I am a longtime fan of…
Poll Positioning: Democrats & SA
poll A couple days ago, the Burnt Orange Report announced the results of a recent phone-based poll on the Democratic Party’s presidential candidates, which showed Clinton gaining six points to reach 40 percent of Texas’s Democratic primary vote. Full results are located here. The poll, conducted by IVR Polls, a small Austin-based operation run by…
Aural Pleasure
Sky Blue Sky Wilco (Nonesuch) ‘Sky’ High Over its 13-year history, Wilco has gone through multiple lineups, breakdowns and reinventions. The only constant may be bandleader Jeff Tweedy’s unwavering quest to follow his temperamental, wandering muse. After chasing it through the assassin avenues of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot and getting lost in the chrome hell of…
The Art Capades
Top: Adel Abdessemed’s “God is Design” and “Notes for Training.” Middle: “Talking Mirror” by Mircea Cantor. Bottom: “Untitled, (Identity, Tradition and Sovereignty)” by Claire Fontaine. Courtesy Photos I went to the polls on Saturday to vote in the City elections. I don’t recall armed vigilantes or government stormtroopers roaming the streets, and the only impediment…
Our City Council Graduating Class
NEWS THE POCKET COUNCILMAN Most likely to impede — despite his economic size I voted Roger Flores “Most Likely to Succeed” — essentially anyway, when I voted for him in the 2003 council race (he ran for reelection unopposed in 2005). In return, he threw me under the bus, nominating my husband for the post…
Pillow talk
Sham*Rock blocks Knockaleptic and winds up for a strike. Photos by Justin Parr. It might be one of those fantasies every man has but never admits: two tight-bodied women at a slumber party, dressed in frilly teddies, kneeling on a bed covered in satin sheets, lightly tapping each other with soft pillows as they giggle and…
The Bar Tab
The Tiki Bar at El Tropicano 110 Lexington 223-9461 4-11pm daily Zombie: $6 El Tropicano, just up the river from the Havana Hotel, also evokes nostalgia for Cuba’s romantic, mythologized past. But where the latter seems like a place in Old Havana where Ernest Hemingway would relax with the locals while drinking rum, smoking a…
Mex in Manhattan
CHALUPA RULE If you don’t own a peekup you MUST be … cousins with, best friends of, or work with someone who does. Si no eres dueño de una peekup tienes que ser primos con, major amigo de, o trabajar con alquien quien tiene una. Is this a guy thing? Some sort of macho version…
The Fast Foodie
Timbo’s 1639 Broadway 223-1028 Timbosburgers.com 11am–10pm Mon-Fri San Antonio is stacked with burger joints, or is it Texas in general that’s stacked with beef and buns? Still, if you’ve been to one, you’ve pretty much been to them all. Each decorated with old Texas license plates, beer neons, framed family photos, and the owner’s favorite…
Straight Shooter
This brilliantly executed, beautifully rendered trade is best taken to your comic shop’s cash register wedged in a stack of, like, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and maybe some porn comics. Hopefully the cashier will just overlook the 192 pages of cuddly mice warriors you’ve got tucked away in your pile of torture and sex mags.…
Ask the Chef
Chef Boy Ari: Montana’s answer to Julia Child. Dear Chef Boy Ari, I very much appreciated your recent article on soy `“The sound of soy,” April 18-24`. I was especially interested in reading about how the isoflavanoids in soy can act like estrogen. I’ve known for a long time that soy gives me hot flashes,…
Dark, dull days
Christi A. Eaves and Andrew Thornton play the quietly grieving parents in Rabbit Hole. Courtesy photo. Rabbit Hole 8pm Fri-Sat & Jun 14; 2:30pm Jun 17 Through Jun 30 $15 general, $10 students/seniors Lloyd Vary Performing Arts Center Woodlawn and Main 828-7743 The most otherworldly aspect of the Summer Repertory Company’s production of Rabbit Hole,…
Pie in the sky
Silo 1604’s contemporary, elegant interior was designed by Davis Sprinkle. Chef Gus Ortiz reprises his Austin Highway role. Photo by Antonio Padilla. Silo Elevated Cuisine 1604 434 N. Loop 1604 West 483-8989 5-11pm nightly Bar: 4:30-11pm Sun-Tue, 4:30pm-2am Wed-Sat Credit Cards Price Range: $18-$42 Accessible Silo has sired a son, and the baby’s a big…
The Art Capades
Heady Vegan Rainbow Murder 10am-5:30pm Mon-Fri; 11am-4pm Sat Through Jul 9 Fl!ght Gallery 1906 S. Flores 872-2586 Turnitoff.tv/ Enrique Martinez: Thus Spoke the Enigma of Desire 10am-5:30pm Mon-Fri; 11am-4pm Sat Through Jul 6 One9zero6 1906 S. Flores 227-5718 1906gallery.com Stevan Zivadinovic: Orson Welles vs. the Burning Dumpster 2-6pm Thu-Sat Through Jun 17 Sala Diaz…
Sound and the Fury
Rick Sciaraffa, RIP It’s not exactly traditional for a rosary to be followed by a public visitation at a rock club, but it was a perfectly fitting way for friends to say farwell to Rick Sciaraffa. Sciaraffa, longtime owner of the White Rabbit, passed away on Thursday, May 10, at the age of 44, and…
¡Ask a Mexican!
Dear Mexican: So often when we see Mexican bands perform in the U.S. and Mexico, the crowd at some point starts chanting “¡Cu-le-ro (Ass-hole!)!” Why does the crowd yell “Cu-le-ro” at a band that they seemingly adore and paid a lot of money to see perform? Even fellow Latinos are really confused by this one.…
Paying the ‘Electricidad’ bill
In an essay which she presents as an ofrenda to other writers, the incomparable Helena María Viramontes exhorts her readers (“makers” she calls them) this way: “Trust you can withstand the fire in your hands.” Marisela Barrera is feeling the heat these days — her creative hands are ablaze. As director of the San Pedro…
After Sunset
Joël Dilley’s bass playing was one of the highlights of “What Singing Completes Us.” Courtesy photo. Because both music and poetry are born of passion and strive to express the inexpressible, they unite quite naturally. Often it happens within the mind of a musician/poet who utilizes both art forms within a single expression. For me,…
Mex in Manhattan
CHALUPA RULE If you don’t own a peekup you MUST be … cousins with, best friends of, or work with someone who does. Si no eres dueño de una peekup tienes que ser primos con, major amigo de, o trabajar con alquien quien tiene una. Is this a guy thing? Some sort of macho version…
Aural Pleasure
The only problems with John Doe’s new solo album are a result of the high bar set by his previous solo albums, his work as a member of punk legends X, and the challenging breadth of his talents. Like a suit that just doesn’t hang right on the body, good songs and performances get lost…
True ‘Freshman’
Brian Vander Ark: The former MTV fixture is regrouping as a solo artist. Courtesy photo. Brian Vander Ark Wed, May 16 Jack’s Patio Bar & Grill 2950 Thousand Oaks 494-2309 Because both music and poetry are born of passion and strive to express the inexpressible, they unite quite naturally. Often it happens within the mind…
Straight Shooter
Mouse Guard Vol. 1: Fall 1152 Archaia Studio Press Words and Art: David Petersen The Loners #1-2 Marvel Story: C.B. Cebulski Art: Karl Moline $2.99 Satan’s Sodomy Baby Dark Horse Story and art by Eric Powell $3.50 This brilliantly executed, beautifully rendered trade is best taken to your comic shop’s cash register wedged in a…
Once upon a Mattress
Jerid Morris of Great Northern Guns at The Mattress Factory. Photo by Francesca Camillo. The Mattress Factory 1907 S. St. Mary’s “It’s good to see all you hillbillies again. I’ve missed you,” Great Northern Guns vocalist Jerid Morris welcomed the crowd on Thursday, June 7, at The Mattress Factory. The Factory’s proprietress, Eva Trimm, is…
The Bar Tab
VFW Post 76 10 10th Street 223-4581 4pm-2am daily As the neon sign above the entrance says, the VFW Post 76 is the oldest post in Texas. And unlike almost all other VFW posts, the bar at Post 76 is open to non-veterans, as in no man (or woman) gets left behind. Situated in a…
Dark, dull days
Christi A. Eaves and Andrew Thornton play the quietly grieving parents in Rabbit Hole. Courtesy photo. Rabbit Hole 8pm Fri-Sat & Jun 14; 2:30pm Jun 17 Through Jun 30 $15 general, $10 students/seniors Lloyd Vary Performing Arts Center Woodlawn and Main 828-7743 The most otherworldly aspect of the Summer Repertory Company’s production of Rabbit Hole,…
Cheese Heroin!
The subject of this week’s Haiku Challenge was nearly Bush’s stolen watch, but then MSNBC had to go and find evidence to back up Tony Snow’s claim that the president put the Timex in his pocket. . Instead, we’re going with CHEESE HEROIN. As reported by countless news sources, including CNN, cheese heroin is a…
The Fast Foodie
El Bohio 1127 Harry Wurzbach 822-8075 11am-10pm 7 days a week; Lunch buffet 11am-2pm Mon-Fri) As I was driving on Harry Wurzbach in search of a new restaurant called El Bohio, I was finally able to understand the impact of Fort Sam Houston on San Antonio in a grander sense. Napoleon once said “C’est la…
The Green Goddess
Recent fads have people goin’ green in nearly every direction, from cars to dry-cleaning, but now enviromentalists have set their sights on something bigger: buildings. Under a push from forner District 10 Councilman Chip Haass, the City Council passed an ordinance last April that requires all new City-owned buildings to receive at least a LEED…
Watch Mystery Solved
Posted by Ashley Gwilliam at 3:09 PM, 06.13.2007 I know you all have been losing sleep worrying over whether or not an American-loving Albanian would actually steal President Bush’s beloved Timex watch, but fear not. Last night NBC Nightly News revealed footage of Bush amidst a frenzied Albanian crowd from a previously unseen angle. The…
Tuck in at the Little Aussie
Clockwise from top: Roasted lamb, black forest cake, tomato and rice soup, beef Big Bloke, and rice and potato quiche from Little Aussie Café. Photo by Antonia Padilla Little Aussie Bakery & Café 3610 Ave. B 826-7877 Thelittleaussiebakery.com 10am-6pm Mon; 10am-9pm Tue– Fri; 8am-9pm Sat; 8am-6pm Sun Credit cards $5.95-$18.50 Accessible A “fair dinkum” dessert,…
Paying the ‘Electricidad’ bill
Director and TeatroFEST founder Marisela Barrera. Photo by Justin Parr. In an essay which she presents as an ofrenda to other writers, the incomparable Helena María Viramontes exhorts her readers (“makers” she calls them) this way: “Trust you can withstand the fire in your hands.” Marisela Barrera is feeling the heat these days — her…
The asparagus exception
Asparagus ready for picking in a Montana field. Courtesy photo. According to Miss Manners, asparagus is one of the few foods acceptable to eat with one’s hands. The “asparagus exception” originated from a time when people ate using real silverware, which got stained by asparagus enzymes. But even with this exception, asparagus can still be…
Aural Pleasure
A Year in the Wilderness John Doe (Yep Roc) The only problems with John Doe’s new solo album are a result of the high bar set by his previous solo albums, his work as a member of punk legends X, and the challenging breadth of his talents. Like a suit that just doesn’t hang right…
Armchair Cinephile
The Hustler and The Verdict (Fox): Two of Paul Newman’s very finest films arrive — one made as his star was rising and one made when his youth (not talent) had undeniably faded — commentaries and special features included, in the wake of the very unwelcome news that Newman has retired from the screen. The…
Armchair Cinephile
Sergio Leone Anthology (MGM): While plenty of old MGM DVDs are being reissued lately, this is one of the more substantial makeovers. Clint Eastwood’s “Man With No Name” anchors a quartet of Spaghetti Westerns, all fleshed out with respectful bonus features, one of which (the outlandishly named, non-Eastwood Duck, You Sucker) hasn’t been available before…
Free Will Astrology
By: Rob Bresny ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Surreal hope” means having faith in a future opportunity that at first appears in an out-of-context situation. Say, for example, that you have an unsettling initial exposure to a stranger whom you will eventually realize is an important ally. Maybe when you see this person for the first…
The next big thing: Ya’Ke Smith
The auteur in repose: Ya’Ke Smith. Courtesy photo. The Second Coming and much, much more at the S.A. Underground Film Festival: June 22-24 San Antonio College Fri, 12pm-9pm Aztec on the River Fri, 2pm-11pm Sat, 10am-11pm Sun, 12pm-6:30pm $8 presale, $10 at the door Get the complete schedule at Safilm.com! Ya’Ke is a filmmaker whose…
The Say-Town Lowdown
Water and money don’t always mix well in San Antonio. We built a city based on abundant, cheap water from the Edwards Aquifer. We’ve also never been willing to pay the full cost of managing too much water — which leaves us grappling with flood control and drainage. Now the mix of money and water…
The Queque
While life in “post-war” Iraq remains surreal — the Queque recently heard an NPR story about a crippled former Saddam guardsman planning to suicide bomb while crossdressing in a Burka — Texas law is becoming even more dreamlike. Last month the governor signed Senate Bill 277, making it illegal to put the names of our…
The Mashup
From the Editor On May 30, a news bulletin from progressive political site Texas Blue confirmed a rumor that had been buzzing through the wires since at least the November elections: Corpus Christi native and wildly successful trial lawyer Mikal Watts has formed an exploratory committee. From U.S. Senator John Cornyn’s seat, it probably looks…
Hutto Vigil
Here’s a little Flickr slideshow I put together of images from a scorching Saturday afternoon (yesterday) in front of the T. Don Hutto Residential Center in Taylor, TX, where 100 or so activists, mostly from SA, gathered to protest the incarceration of asylum-seeking families by the Department of Homeland Security. In attendance: the Brown Berets,…
The Missyfits Roll Among Us
The Missyfits ended last season having never won a bout, but in a Sunday night shocker they overcame a substantial 20-point Dragon Diva lead in a bout that came down to the last seconds of the last jam. The Dragon Divas entered Sunday’s matchup undefeated at 2-0, but after the Missyfits’ last-ditch heroics, the two…
Running off with the Cib and the Strib
Recently, I was able to sit down and ask the district 8 city council candidates a few questions about their campaigns and get a feel for what they had to offer the public interest. It’s runoff time, and both candidates are making final attempts to get voters out, hoping that after the last ballot is…
Guerra DeBerry Coody’s Working Moms Get Legislative Savvy
At the threat of being shut down by Child Care Licensing, a division of the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services, San Antonio marketing firm Guerra DeBerry Coody reluctantly began the mind numbing process of commercially licensing their onsite employee childcare facility last August. They’ve been licensed since February, but thanks to the firm’s…
Free Will Astrology
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don’t take your time, Aries. Move double fast and strategize from many angles, always thinking ten steps ahead. Please don’t keep your hands clean, either. Play with the muck and roll in the mud and learn from the dirt. And don’t you dare be measured and balanced. Instead, be an intense…
Letters to the Editor
mail ON THE COVER Did you know expensive shotguns are a popular gift lobbyists send to Texas legislators? We’re sure hot shots like House Speaker Tom Craddick and Governor Perry know. Read the Current’s Lege Roundup. Cover Illustration by Matt Bors. MAIL Draw it like it is Jeremy Martin’s comic book review of Army@Love `Straight…
The Queque
While life in “post-war” Iraq remains surreal — the Queque recently heard an NPR story about a crippled former Saddam guardsman planning to suicide bomb while crossdressing in a Burka — Texas law is becoming even more dreamlike. Last month the governor signed Senate Bill 277, making it illegal to put the names of our…
The next big thing: Ya’Ke Smith
The auteur in repose: Ya’Ke Smith. Courtesy photo. The Second Coming and much, much more at the S.A. Underground Film Festival: June 22-24 San Antonio College Fri, 12pm-9pm Aztec on the River Fri, 2pm-11pm Sat, 10am-11pm Sun, 12pm-6:30pm $8 presale, $10 at the door Get the complete schedule at Safilm.com! Ya’Ke is a filmmaker whose…
Armchair Cinephile
Pan’s Labyrinth (New Line): Do San Antonio cinephiles need any prodding to see this gorgeous, frightening fairy tale by Mexican visionary Guillermo del Toro? We won’t tattle if you catch it this weekend and pretend you were hip to it all along. Army of Shadows (Criterion): The flipside of the exploitative thrills found in Black…
The Say-Town Lowdown
As I was walking the family dog a few days ago along Mulberry Avenue, I encountered a City pothole-patching crew. The pothole, neatly centered on a long crack in the pavement, where a series of SAWS crews had dug up the asphalt regularly over the last few years, certainly merited attention, as it was filled…
The Queque
Poor, poor pobrecitos. The Queque knows you’ve had Bill Withers on heavy rotation for two weeks, because there simply ain’t no sunshine when we’re gone. The thunder clapped and magnificent lightning ripped across the sky. Rain poured down thicker than a Coltrane solo, and at the apotheosis of heaven’s fury the manager of the Cave…
Toll-road collision
Read my lips, no meddling: Mary Peters. Photo by Keli Dailey In journalism it’s called the “press gangbang,*” when a swarm of hard up, anxious reporters outnumber the object of our assignment. Last March, U.S. Secretary of Transportation Mary Peters was l’objet d’bang. The unassuming (and new) Bush Cabinet appointee had a moving wall of…
The Mashup
From the Editor The Historic and Design Review Commission may be contemplating its own preservation at its meeting today. By the time it convenes again on the first Wednesday of June, HDRC’s future composition and function may be radically altered by a City Council that has bought into developers’ claims that the citizen group exercises…
