Mar 16-22, 2016

Mar 16-22, 2016 / Vol. 30 / No. 11

10 Free Events Happening This Week

Mon 3/21 Break Fast and Launch Dinner Day Come out and entertain your taste buds at this celebratory culinary event. Join culinary experts,entrepreneurs and lovers of cuisine as an array of vendors set up and display their products and food for all to explore and learn. Free, 5pm, Mon,Blue Star Arts Complex, 1414 S. Alamo…

Nao Latin Gastro Bar Launches Happy Hour

After re-invigorating its brand and menu in the fall of 2015 under the helm of chef Zachary Garza and launching a wildly popular brunch (no, really, it’s hopping) this spring, Nao Latin Gastro Bar (312 Pearl Pkwy., Building 2, 210-554-6484) has unveiled a new happy hour menu. Available 5:30-7 p.m. Tuesday-Friday, the happy hour will…

Adele Tries Twerking to Mixed Results

“My bum could break my back it’s so enormous,” said a very cheeky Adele during a London concert on March 19, in reference to her ample angel food cakes.  The event of the century went down during a not-very-twerktastic cover of Lionel Richie’s “All Night Long,” which, to Adele, must be equivalent to booty clap-inducing…

Ted Cruz Says Police Should Patrol and Secure Muslim Neighborhoods

In the wake of a horrible terrorist attack in Brussels that has killed at least 31 and seriously injured dozens more, presidential candidate Ted Cruz is stoking fear and further revealing his totalitarian streak.  Here’s part of his response this morning after news of the tragedy: Our European allies are now seeing what comes of…

Texas Ag Commissioner Sid Miller Might Have Already Broken the Law

Republicans allegedly violating the law seems to becoming a Lone Star State pastime.  First, a few stories will trickle out through the press. Then a complaint is filed by groups like Texans for Public Justice or Progress Texas. And sometimes, grand juries hand down indictments. Then there will be the mugshot parade, and if you’re…

Do You Have Information About the Jerks Who Tagged Enchanted Rock?

If you’re going to deface one of the most breath-taking natural wonders in Texas, shouldn’t you come up with something better than “Ca$h” and “Truck”? You’d think so. But evidently that’s the best effort of the two people who this weekend spray painted the side of a boulder on Enchanted Rock, Central Texas’ monstrous, ancient…

5 Shows to See This Week

Monday, March 21 MC Lars Self-described as a “true player for real,” MC Lars plays post-punk laptop rap. If nothing else, dude is a nut. With Mega Ran and Bitforce. Free for 21+ $5 for minors, 7pm, The Korova, 107 E. Martin Ave., (210) 226-5070 Monday, March 21 Unwritten Law SoCal pop punkers Unwritten Law play an intimate set…

Luminaria Flicks the Switch on Its Latest Footprint: The near East Side

In November, Luminaria 2016 will make the East Side glow with dazzling light and color. Organizers announced Monday morning that Luminaria’s newest footprint will be in “Downtown East, a neighborhood rich in San Antonio’s African-American history and culture, and a booming hub of creative energy.” Lumanria’s headquarters will relocate to the Ella Austin Community Center…

Mayor Ivy Taylor to Deliver Second State of the City Address Tomorrow

San Antonio Mayor Ivy Taylor will deliver her second State of the City address tomorrow, her first since winning the office in June. The theme of Taylor’s speech will be “A City at Work.” It’s unclear which topics she’ll speak on, although she will likely address the city’s progress on ending veteran homelessness, according to…

SA Attorney Jamie Balagia Launches DWI Dude App

In response to the growing number of wrongful arrests in the US ranging from DWI to assault; San Antonio Attorney, Jamie Balagia has launched the DWI DUDE APP, designed to ensure citizen’s rights are not violated before or after arrest. THE DWI Dude app is the only citizen recording tool aimed to empower citizens against rights…

While Silent When Gov. Abbott Visited Cuba, Ted Cruz Slams the President’s Trip

Texas Democrats are knocking Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz, who criticized President Barack Obama for his historic trip to Cuba. Manny Garcia, Texas Democratic Party deputy executive director, says Cruz will do anything in his pursuit of power. “The fact is Cuban-American, Canadian-born Ted Cruz will lie, do, and say anything to gain power,” Garcia…

Dispatches from SXSW 2016 – Saturday, March 19

SXSW is a marathon, not a sprint, so it would stand to reason that by Saturday, the last true day of the festival, that taking it easy would be the best idea, thus I spent much of the first half of the day sitting in theaters, taking in music videos at the Alamo Ritz (you…

Dispatches from SXSW 2016 – Friday, March 18

The SXSW bottle venue is a nightmare. It has a recognizable form. It’s a Venus fly trap where the nectar is buzz bands and free alcohol. Long lines keep people inside, for those who made it in dare not leave and risk not getting back in for the band they really want to see. So…

Pee-wee Remembers Quick Trip to SA in 1985 for Big Adventure

Last summer, I wrote a cover story for the San Antonio Current on the 30th anniversary of the 1985 comedy Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. It took me about a month to track down some of the actors from the film, including Elizabeth Daily (Dottie), Diane Salinger (Simone), and Mark Holton (Francis). Although I was able to…

This Beyoncé-approved Tap Dance Troupe Kills ‘Formation’

OK, so maybe she’s not Illuminati … Or, maybe, that’s exactly what someone in the Illuminati would want you to think! Amiright? Regardless, the recent single from Bey’s forthcoming album (which is rumored to drop unexpectedly – some say as soon as April – just like the 2013 release BEYONCÉ) has inspired numerous viral dance…

Dispatches from SXSW 2016 – Thursday, March 17

I was told by my friend Nick when I arrived Wednesday, after pulling off yet another Jazz for the Masses show, which I’ve put together for the last four years just up the street at El Sapo, that Comal St. would be the crucial route needed to ride throughout Austin and avoid too many oppressive…

The Bronze is Bratty, Crass, Irreverent and Totally American

“I’ll fuck with whoever I want, whenever I want. I’ll fuck with them sooo hard I’ll rip their taints in half. Then, I’ll wear one part of the taint in a locket, around my neck. Give the other half of the taint-locket to your mom … To shove up her ass.” And there you have it, the vulgar appeal…

10 Things You Have to Do This Weekend

Thu 3/17 International Artist-In-Residence Exhibition Selected by independent Spanish curator Juan de Nieves, Daniel García Andújar (Barcelona), Adriana Corral (San Antonio) and Wu Tsang (Los Angeles) took up residency at Artpace in January as part of its revered International Artist-In-Residence program. A recent recipient of an Emerging Artist Grant from the Joan Mitchell Foundation, El…

He Can’t Be TrusTED: Ted Cruz Doesn’t Like Avocados

As if you needed any more reasons to believe Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer or the lead singer of American Christian heavy metal band, Stryper, Texas’ junior senator recently shared some cringeworthy facts about himself. Namely — hold on to your butts — he hates avocados. Now, what self-respecting Texan admits that? He eats just…

The Party Politics of DJ Riobamba

Party politics. If you hadn’t had enough of them already four polls and seven Super Tuesdays ago, you’re surely sick of them by now. Thankfully, the continent-trekking DJ Riobamba is riding into town Saturday on a platform that prioritizes self-determination, direct participation and making America shake again. Armed with tunes whose sounds trespass national borders…

Check Out the Full Schedule for the San Antonio Book Festival

Break out those planners, bookworms. The San Antonio Book Festival announced today its full schedule for the event. The fourth iteration of the free festival, held at both the Central Library (600 Soledad St.) and the Southwest School of Art (1201 Navarro St.), will take place on Saturday, April 2. The festival lineup includes over…

10 Shows to See This Weekend

Thursday, March 17 Il Volo For an Italian opera trio, Il Volo is popular with the Tiger Beat crowd. Judging by their dark good looks, they could be dubbed the Jonas Brothers of the classical world. $40 – $95, 7:30pm, Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-5700 Thursday, March 17 Tejano Music Awards Fan Fair…

Seven Lucky Shamrock Jams to Drink to This St. Paddy’s Day

In tradition of dyeing the river greener than it already is year-round and boasting an impressive amount of colorful watering holes, San Antonio could easily be Dublin’s long-lost party animal cousin. To celebrate getting wasted, pigging out and the patron saint of Ireland, here’s seven songs which to chug Guinness and eat Shepherd’s Pie.  Flogging Molly…

Could San Antonio Mosquitoes Carry Zika Virus?

Since the first San Antonio Zika virus case was reported in February, more reports of the disease in the Alamo City have emerged weekly. But no instance of the mosquito-borne illness has originated from a San Antonio skeeter. They’ve all originated from Central or South America, where the disease is running rampant, or been sexually…

Embrace March Madness with Spurs Mojo

As those who reside in Bexar County already know, San Antonio is undeniably a basketball town. With the road to the Final Four ending in Houston this year, hoops enthusiasts across the Alamo City are primed for March Madness, where bracketology reigns supreme. Those looking for a little Spurs mojo to spruce up their office pool brackets have a…

Gov. Greg Abbott: Strict Constitutionalist Should Serve on Supreme Court

Obstructionist Republicans across the country are already lashing out at President Barack Obama’s nomination to the Supreme Court. The White House announced today that the president nominates Merrick B. Garland, who is the Chief Judge on the U.S. Court of Appeals in Washington D.C., to replace the late Antonin Scalia.  Merrick was confirmed to his…

Savage Love: Safe Wording

I’m a 27-year-old, feminist, conventionally attractive, straightish, GGG woman. Over time, my tastes have changed, and now I find myself more of a kinkster. A few years ago, my desire for kinkier sex and my willingness to take a chance came together in a mutually beneficial, exciting D/s relationship. I’ll be honest: I wasn’t as…

Free Will Astrology (3/16-3/22)

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Artist Steven Spasuk works exclusively with an unusual medium: soot from candles and torches. He spreads the stuff across a blank canvas, then uses various instruments to sculpt the accidental blobs into definitive forms. I’ve seen the results, and they’re both well-done and intriguing. What would be the metaphorical equivalent, in…


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