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They Said It II … The Mayorals
davedave Mayoral incumbent Phil Hardberger’s been avoiding debates and public forums with his six osbcure challengers all season, and so we were shocked and flattered when he was one of the four runners who returned our candidate surveys. — Dave Maass Phil Hardberger. “I don’t like toll roads, and it was a mistake to drain…
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last words
HAIKU HENTAI FOR AUTUM’S FULL MOON By: Richard Dame damducttape@aol.com Used prophylatic Is sticking to your curtains. Dude, how cool is that? Schedule says it’s time To shave your chupacabra. Can I watch, this time? A woman’s butt crack Is now known as a coin slot. Make a note of it. …
Value Vino – Great wines for under $15
The wannabe wine wonk with a budding Bordeaux bias might do well to quit his or her job now and start drinking. Just kidding, but Bordeaux is the world’s biggest wine-producing region – turning out more than 700,000 bottles in a good year – and it is also one of the world’s most complex. There…
God and Bernal
Mingo Saldivar brings a country touch to the Tejano Conjunto Festival. Courtesy photo. Paulino Bernal is the Al Green of conjunto music. Both men established themselves at a young age as great musical innovators and left their respective genres at the peak of their powers to establish ministries. Understandably, both men watched their legends grow…
The Fast Foodie
At a point early in the Tarantino film Jackie Brown, Samuel L. Jackson’s character tries to convince Chris Tucker to help him with a job by offering a free meal from Hollywood’s infamous Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles. Tucker accepts and ends up dead in a trunk moments later. Well … I suppose the moral is…
God and Bernal
Tejano Conjunto Festival Thu, May 10-Sat, May 12Rosedale Park303 Dartmouth271-3151www.guadalupeculturalarts.org Mingo Saldivar brings a country touch to the Tejano Conjunto Festival. Courtesy photo. Paulino Bernal is the Al Green of conjunto music. Both men established themselves at a young age as great musical innovators and left their respective genres at the peak of their powers…
Propositioned
TEXT OF PROPOSITION 1: “The constitutional amendment authorizing the Legislature to provide for a reduction of the limitation on the total amount of ad valorem taxes that may be imposed for public school purposes on the residence homesteads of the elderly or disabled to reflect any reduction in the rate of those taxes for…
God and Bernal
Mingo Saldivar brings a country touch to the Tejano Conjunto Festival. Courtesy photo. Paulino Bernal is the Al Green of conjunto music. Both men established themselves at a young age as great musical innovators and left their respective genres at the peak of their powers to establish ministries. Understandably, both men watched their legends grow…
last words
Puzzlemaster Dave Maass. Click for larger image. ACROSS 6. Female organs which give our class its name 8. Joan Crawford, to her adopted daughter 9. U.S. Supreme Court upheld the federal ban on this abortion procedure 13. Song in which Jim Morrison wants to fuck his mother 15. Also known as the afterbirth 18. Colloquially…
Sabado (somewhat) gigante
Our undercooked Saturday election might as well be taking place somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere, in a rainforest of aborigines vying for a spot on the highest tree canopy, for all the local interest in selecting San Antonio’s next group in charge of our $1.8-billion City budget. Would it surprise you, then, to know that…
Armchair Cinephile
Bedazzled (Fox): How can it be that it has taken so long to unleash this bit of Swinging-London irreverance on the DVD-buying public? Not the sickly, dull Elizabeth Hurley remake, mind you, but the one starring the delicious comic pairing of Peter Cook and pre-Arthur Dudley Moore. It’s a witty take on the Faust story…
last words
Puzzlemaster Dave Maass. Click for larger image. ACROSS 6. Female organs which give our class its name 8. Joan Crawford, to her adopted daughter 9. U.S. Supreme Court upheld the federal ban on this abortion procedure 13. Song in which Jim Morrison wants to fuck his mother 15. Also known as the afterbirth 18. Colloquially…
Sabado (somewhat) gigante
Our undercooked Saturday election might as well be taking place somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere, in a rainforest of aborigines vying for a spot on the highest tree canopy, for all the local interest in selecting San Antonio’s next group in charge of our $1.8-billion City budget. Would it surprise you, then, to know that…
Straight Shooter
The highlight of this book is the cute way that Marvel thinks they’ve got us fooled. “Oh, no,” is the tone of the book, “Captain America is so totally dead, like for real.” This is comics, though, where nobody – Captain America’s Bucky, Batman’s Jason Todd, Illustrated Bible Classics’ Jesus – stays dead for long.…
last words
Puzzlemaster Dave Maass. Click for larger image. ACROSS 6. Female organs which give our class its name 8. Joan Crawford, to her adopted daughter 9. U.S. Supreme Court upheld the federal ban on this abortion procedure 13. Song in which Jim Morrison wants to fuck his mother 15. Also known as the afterbirth 18. Colloquially…
Sabado (somewhat) gigante
Our undercooked Saturday election might as well be taking place somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere, in a rainforest of aborigines vying for a spot on the highest tree canopy, for all the local interest in selecting San Antonio’s next group in charge of our $1.8-billion City budget. Would it surprise you, then, to know that…
Phat pig
Fat Pig8pm Thu-Sat, 2:30 SunThrough May 13$15 general; $12 senior, military; $8 studentAttic TheaterRuth Taylor Theater BldgTrinity University999-8524Atticrep.org You are what you eat. You’re also who you drink with, or so Neil LaBute’s Fat Pig deftly intimates. Yes, in the corporate world of non-work and non-play, it’s your non-friends who define you, and usually they’re…
Kino Club
The Solution, a found footage film in the style of a pre-movie 50’s newscast, presents the hypothetical situation in which a new program, The Final New Deal Solution, has been implemented by the American government. This program is designed to solve the “immigration problem” by means of turning Mexicans into food. By using found footage…
Sabado (somewhat) gigante
Our undercooked Saturday election might as well be taking place somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere, in a rainforest of aborigines vying for a spot on the highest tree canopy, for all the local interest in selecting San Antonio’s next group in charge of our $1.8-billion City budget. Would it surprise you, then, to know that…
Postcard Diaries and Head Humpers:
Mark MothersbaughBy appt.Through Jun 1Opening reception: 6:30pm Sat, May 12Fl!ght Gallery1906 S. Flores872-2586Turnitoff.tv The cultural vortex that swirls around Mark Mothersbaugh is moving swiftly toward San Antonio, sweeping the brilliantly unlikely into its great maw as it comes. The show of Postcard Diaries prints by the Devo bandmember doesn’t even open till Saturday, but already…
Kino Club
The Solution, a found footage film in the style of a pre-movie 50’s newscast, presents the hypothetical situation in which a new program, The Final New Deal Solution, has been implemented by the American government. This program is designed to solve the “immigration problem” by means of turning Mexicans into food. By using found footage…
Sabado (somewhat) gigante
Because there can be only one! EZ Election Day Memory Joggers Mayor R.G. Griffing: Muckraking Righty Julie Iris Oldham: Mama Bexar Patrick McCurdy: Jesus’s Baker Michael Idrogo: Airbus! Airbus! Phil Hardberger: Sitting Pretty Incumbent Rhett R. Smith: Impeach Bush Eiginio Rodriguez: Anti-PGA Watchdog District 1 Kat Swift: Dreadlocked Green Mary Alice Cisneros: Henry’s wife…
Fresh Spice
Spice Asian Bistro434 N. Loop 160411am-10pm Mon-SunCredit CardsPrice range: $8.25-$13.95Accessible Well, I’m surprised – pleasantly surprised, let me hasten to add. I had grown apathetic about Mon’s Thai Bistro due to lackluster lunch offerings and a slightly shopworn look, but their new offshoot, Spice, in the nouveau nexus at Blanco and 1604 (right next to…
Kino Club
The Solution, a found footage film in the style of a pre-movie 50’s newscast, presents the hypothetical situation in which a new program, The Final New Deal Solution, has been implemented by the American government. This program is designed to solve the “immigration problem” by means of turning Mexicans into food. By using found footage…
Aural Pleasure
‘Witch’ Craft You either respect Yoko Ono as an artist, the presence that loomed so heavily in John Lennon’s post-Beatles career, or loathe her as a more pretentious Linda McCartney who broke up the band. Either way, she’s part of pop history. For Yes I’m a Witch, Ono’s tapped a who’s-who of alt-rockers to remix…
They said it II … the mayorals
Mayoral incumbent Phil Hardberger’s been avoiding debates and public forums with his six osbcure challengers all season, and so we were shocked and flattered when he was one of the four runners who returned our candidate surveys. — Dave Maass “I don’t like toll roads, and it was a mistake to drain off gasoline taxes…
Kino Club
The Solution, a found footage film in the style of a pre-movie 50’s newscast, presents the hypothetical situation in which a new program, The Final New Deal Solution, has been implemented by the American government. This program is designed to solve the “immigration problem” by means of turning Mexicans into food. By using found footage…
Aural Pleasure
‘Witch’ Craft You either respect Yoko Ono as an artist, the presence that loomed so heavily in John Lennon’s post-Beatles career, or loathe her as a more pretentious Linda McCartney who broke up the band. Either way, she’s part of pop history. For Yes I’m a Witch, Ono’s tapped a who’s-who of alt-rockers to remix…
They said it II … the mayorals
Mayoral incumbent Phil Hardberger’s been avoiding debates and public forums with his six osbcure challengers all season, and so we were shocked and flattered when he was one of the four runners who returned our candidate surveys. — Dave Maass “I don’t like toll roads, and it was a mistake to drain off gasoline taxes…
Aural Pleasure
‘Witch’ Craft You either respect Yoko Ono as an artist, the presence that loomed so heavily in John Lennon’s post-Beatles career, or loathe her as a more pretentious Linda McCartney who broke up the band. Either way, she’s part of pop history. For Yes I’m a Witch, Ono’s tapped a who’s-who of alt-rockers to remix…
They said it II … the mayorals
Mayoral incumbent Phil Hardberger’s been avoiding debates and public forums with his six osbcure challengers all season, and so we were shocked and flattered when he was one of the four runners who returned our candidate surveys. — Dave Maass “I don’t like toll roads, and it was a mistake to drain off gasoline taxes…
Sound and the Fury
Lara Revisited Simplemente Lara, José Rubén De León’s spare, intimate tribute to the torch-song majesty of Agustin Lara, was one of the great local releases of 2006, and De León continues to receive acclaim for his Lara-themed performances. On Saturday, May 12, De León will be honored by his hometown of Laredo, as the Webb…
Hustle and Flow
After the premature playoff exits of the Dallas Mavericks and Houston Rockets, the San Antonio Spurs entered the Western Conference Semifinals as the last Texas team still standing in the NBA playoffs. While early word is that Rockets coach Jeff Van Gundy and Dallas point-guard Jason Terry will shoulder the blame for their respective teams…
All Ears
Is the legacy of Sly & the Family Stone joyous or heartbreaking? Is the group’s message utopian or bleak? Maybe both things are true. Ask your average music fan about the group, after all, and she’ll talk about songs like “Everyday People” – exuberantly egalitarian anthems whose power-to-all-the-people message was echoed in the band’s famously…
All Ears
Is the legacy of Sly & the Family Stone joyous or heartbreaking? Is the group’s message utopian or bleak? Maybe both things are true. Ask your average music fan about the group, after all, and she’ll talk about songs like “Everyday People” – exuberantly egalitarian anthems whose power-to-all-the-people message was echoed in the band’s famously…
Letters to the Editor
mail ON THE COVER Take a peek (c’mon!) at our annual Texas* Books Issue (*mostly), a subjective round-up of Lone-Star- affiliated literature that caught our eye this spring. Cover photo by Justin Parr. Correction District 1 City Council Candidate Mary Alice Cisneros served as treasurer on Pete Sakai’s campaign for the 225th District judgeship. We…
God and Bernal
Tejano Conjunto Festival Thu, May 10-Sat, May 12Rosedale Park303 Dartmouth271-3151www.guadalupeculturalarts.org Paulino Bernal is the Al Green of conjunto music. Both men established themselves at a young age as great musical innovators and left their respective genres at the peak of their powers to establish ministries. Understandably, both men watched their legends grow in absentia. Green…
God and Bernal
Mingo Saldivar brings a country touch to the Tejano Conjunto Festival. Courtesy photo. Tejano Conjunto Festival Thu, May 10-Sat, May 12Rosedale Park303 Dartmouth271-3151www.guadalupeculturalarts.org Paulino Bernal is the Al Green of conjunto music. Both men established themselves at a young age as great musical innovators and left their respective genres at the peak of their powers…
last words
HAIKU HENTAI FOR AUTUM’S FULL MOON By: Richard Dame damducttape@aol.com Used prophylatic Is sticking to your curtains. Dude, how cool is that? Schedule says it’s time To shave your chupacabra. Can I watch, this time? A woman’s butt crack Is now known as a coin slot. Make a note of it. …
last words
HAIKU HENTAI FOR AUTUM’S FULL MOON By: Richard Dame damducttape@aol.com Used prophylatic Is sticking to your curtains. Dude, how cool is that? Schedule says it’s time To shave your chupacabra. Can I watch, this time? A woman’s butt crack Is now known as a coin slot. Make a note of it. …
last words
HAIKU HENTAI FOR AUTUMN’S FULL MOON By: Richard Dame damducttape@aol.com Used prophylatic Is sticking to your curtains. Dude, how cool is that? Schedule says it’s time To shave your chupacabra. Can I watch, this time? A woman’s butt crack Is now known as a coin slot. Make a note of it. …
last words
HAIKU HENTAI FOR AUTUMN’S FULL MOON By: Richard Dame damducttape@aol.com Used prophylatic Is sticking to your curtains. Dude, how cool is that? Schedule says it’s time To shave your chupacabra. Can I watch, this time? A woman’s butt crack Is now known as a coin slot. Make a note of it. …
last words
HAIKU HENTAI FOR AUTUMN’S FULL MOON By: Richard Dame damducttape@aol.com Used prophylatic Is sticking to your curtains. Dude, how cool is that? Schedule says it’s time To shave your chupacabra. Can I watch, this time? A woman’s butt crack Is now known as a coin slot. Make a note of it. …
last words
HAIKU HENTAI FOR AUTUMN’S FULL MOON By: Richard Dame damducttape@aol.com Used prophylatic Is sticking to your curtains. Dude, how cool is that? Schedule says it’s time To shave your chupacabra. Can I watch, this time? A woman’s butt crack Is now known as a coin slot. Make a note of it. …
last words
Puzzlemaster Dave Maass. Click for larger image. ACROSS 6. Female organs which give our class its name 8. Joan Crawford, to her adopted daughter 9. U.S. Supreme Court upheld the federal ban on this abortion procedure 13. Song in which Jim Morrison wants to fuck his mother 15. Also known as the afterbirth 18. Colloquially…
Free Will Astrology
By: Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): To manufacture one penny, the U.S. Treasury spends 1.4 cents. To process petroleum for use in operating a car, the oil industry expends 20 percent more energy than the gasoline yields. These are the kinds of situations you’ve urgently got to avoid in the coming week, Aries. You…
Free Will Astrology
By: Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): “If you hold your dreams too tightly, you’ll crush their little ribs,” was the message scrawled on the wall of a public restroom I visited today. I immediately recognized that as excellent advice for you. While I’m usually all in favor of cultivating a ferocious devotion towards…
last words
David Halberstam. Courtesy photo. Modern Times The late David Halberstam left warning signs for future American leaders in The Next Century By: Gilbert Garcia Of all the arguments that have ever been made for a career in journalism, the one I find the most persuasive came from David Halberstam. Halberstam, the revered reporter who died…
Letters to the Editor
mail ON THE COVER The elections are just one tiny far off corner of the SA voter’s amygdala. That won’t keep us from making the ballot cerebral. Cover illustration by Beto Gonzales. MAIL Pen pal Hello my greetings to you. I’m just writing to let you know that I received the S.A. Current issue and…
Hustle and Flow
It’s been more than 30 years since former NFL running back and special-teams standout David Kopay shocked the sports world by revealing his homosexuality, becoming the first player from the three major American sports leagues to do so. Kopay spent nine seasons in the NFL, including stops with the Green Bay Packers, Detroit Lions, Washington…
Unholy Mandate
Photo illustration by Chuck Kerr Should Texans read something into the fact that hearings on a bill mandating high schools teach the Bible — Christianity’s holy text — started on the same night Passover began? If you know what the celebration of the Exodus is, then you’re smarter than a parade of university professors who…
Straight Shooter
Testament #1-16 Vertigo Writer: Douglas Rushkoff Art: Liam Sharpe $9.99 I have to admit I’m getting pretty burned out on protest comics these days. Like most members of generations X-9/11 I’m afraid I’m too ADD and self-conscious to successfully protest a war, or much of anything else. Sure I don’t want the killing to continue…
The Mashup
From the Editor I’ve always thought that San Antonio is a remarkably rumor-free community given its much-bragged-about small-town nature. It’s also miraculously polite. Generally we can’t provoke a verbal smackdown from our readers unless we unfavorably review a musical (why musical fans are prone to such passion is, I imagine, a topic for teatime speculation…
Home on the Range – A former New Yorker’s guide to the Texas adjustment
“Have you tried the H-E-B up the road?” asked the bearded barista at Starbucks as he grabbed my breakfast — a cranberry-orange muffin — from the display case. “It’s Easter. It’s closed.” The bearded barista smiled, realizing how right I was and how silly his comment had been. “Where are you from?” he asked, knowing…
Clothes-Minded – Fashion Deconstruction
A detail from Ronald Kolodzie’s 1999 photograph and pencil work “Street in Burma.” Courtesy image. When I took Ronald Kolodzie’s fashion-drawing class last spring at the Southwest School of Art and Craft, it didn’t take me nine weeks to realize I couldn’t draw. I kept going back every Thursday for the stories. Kolodzie, a San…
The Art Capades
Half of “Less Than Half of What You Deserve,” a detail from Katie Pell’s current Blue Star Installation. Courtesy photo. Monumental Drawings; The Best That I Can Give You And Less Than Half Of What You Deserve Noon-6pm Wed-Sun Through Apr 29 Free Blue Star Contemporary Art Center 116 Blue Star 227-6960 Bluestarart.org I’ve visited…
Sticks and Studs
Rob “The Commodore” Shuttles is returning captain of the USA World Cup Polocrosse Team and the highest-rated player in America. Photos by Alexis Souza. The dirt forms a fine cloud as the horses pivot and dodge. Racquets crack as the riders fight for the ball and fake out opponents on the way down the field.…
The Bar Tab
Azuca 713. S. Alamo Street 225-5550 Happy hour: 4-7pm Mon-Fri Mojitos and appetizers: $2.50/each Finding an interesting bar sometimes requires a fresh perspective. For example, observe the bar scene at the restaurant Chacho and Chalucci’s at 1:45 a.m. on a Sunday morning. Similarly, finding great restaurants with cheap prices provides its own challenges. Luckily, for…
The Fast Foodie
Gourmet Burger Grill at the Legacy 18414 US Hwy 281 North 545-3800 11am-10pm Mon-Thu, 11am-11pm Fri-Sat, 11am-9pm Sun I grew up eating fast-food hamburgers at a McDonald’s on Austin High-way. Many years later, I flipped a 180 and switched to a fairly strict vegan diet. Needless to say that ended very shortly after I moved…
Ask the Chef
Honorary Texan: Chef Boy Ari Dear Chef Boy Ari, Is there a farmer’s market in San Antonio? I moved here three years ago from Olympia, Washington, where there is a weekend farmer’s market which was very reliable for fresh local fruits, veggies, fish, poultry, beef preserves, honey, etc. I was wondering if San Antonio had…
Value Vino – Great wines for under $15
Statements such as the following drive the cynic in me nuts: “`famous European winemaker’s` love for the soil grew into a love for mother earth, and he began to champion the well-being of the planet … ” The romantic in me, on the other hand, wants to believe every sanctimonious-sounding word of it. Growing up…
A Melting Pot It’s Not
Clockwise from left: Grilled salmon, chile relleno stuffed with tuna, crème brûlée, and pan-fried snapper. Photo by Antonia Padilla. Fusion Seafood, Steak & Wine bar 11703 Huebner Rd. 694-4201 11am-9pm Mon & Tue, 11am-10pm Wed–Sat Credit cards Price range: $7.95-$22.95 Accessible Fusion was first and formerly a chain noodle palace of the around-the–world-in-80-pastas sort. (I…
The Say-Town Lowdown – Guest Column
Last week, local public-access producer Patsy Robles wrote on her 411 Show blog something that galvanized media-reform advocates nationwide. Titled “Is Public Access Under Fire by AT&T U-Verse?” she gave voice to the latest concerns about protecting San Antonio’s long embattled public-access television. The posting was in response to something she and other local producers…
Aural Pleasure
Because of the Times Kings of Leon (RCA) Dethroned Kings You learn a lot about rock artists with their third album. A debut album delivers 20 years of pent-up energy and generally culls the best material from a band’s club gigs. The second album tends to be a slightly more refined version of the first…
The Queque
We never thought we’d have a chance to compare Current readers to Death Row Records founder and felon Suge Knight (who supposedly hung Vanilla Ice over a sixth floor balcony by his feet until he signed over publishing rights to “Ice Ice Baby”), but after Queque contributor Keli Dailey wrote her part two on pot…
Sound and the Fury
Sunday’s Best One Sunday a month, Miss Neesie and the Ear Food Orchestra congregate at Casbeers and elevate spirits with their patented gumbo gospel, a Southern Louisiana-inflected take on classic church hymns. On Sunday, April 15, EFO’s Gospel Brunch performance will also serve as a CD-release party for their new album, Gloria Road. Opening with…
Crossed-Off and Barred
After hours on the highways crossing Texas, turns down a farm road in Livingston, 70-odd miles northeast of Houston. She veers off at the Allan B. Polunsky Unit, the sprawling maximum-security home to the men on Texas’s death row, and slows to a stop in front of the…
All Ears
The Good, The Bad & The Queen mind the age gap. Courtesy photo. The tie-in may be tasteless or morbid, I don’t know, but the just-started murder trial for legendary producer Phil Spector inspires a flashback to mid-’60s pop that makes a Mary Weiss comeback feel timely. Weiss, of the Shangri-Las (not a Spector group,…
Kino Club
This series of beautifully considered moments, infused with color and a subtle touch of humor, take the viewer to a special quiet corner of paradise where the sunlight and breeze are the best company a person could enjoy. Puff (Snapshots) was awarded Best New Media by Potter-Belamr Labs in the 2006 CAM awards. Puff (Snapshots)…
Remembering Ram
Big Drag reunites to salute the late Taco Land founder Ram Ayala as the headliners of Ram Jam II. Photo by Jerry Clayworth Ram Jam II Big Drag, Sons of Hercules, Mescaleros with Suzy Bravo, Snowbyrd, and others 5pm Sat, Apr 14 $7 (all ages) Sam’s Burger Joint 330 E. Grayson 223-2830 Every year in March,…
Un mensaje de los niños: Screw Newt
Ghost Fever/Mal de Fantasma Joe Hayes Cinco Puntos Press, 2004 87 pps, $14.95 The Texas Bluebonnet Award is a special dignity that third- through sixth-graders do not bestow lightly, if I remember my overly serious days in elementary, reading heavyhitters like Judy Blume (1982 Bluebonnet winner for the little brother disaster tale Superfudge) and the…
Artifacts
Art Post 05.4.07 Art news has been piling up like fluffy airborn spring allergens, readers, and I apologize for sweeping up a big pile before I puff my cheeks and blow a big snuff your way. Starters: Despite a home team of Spurs-championship skill and flair, San Antonio did not bring back the $50K Hunting…
