Oct 25-31, 2017

Oct 25-31, 2017 / Vol. 31 / No. 43
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Hey Gabriel Iglesias, We Found Your Doppelgänger in San Antonio

Why trick-or-treat for candy when you can trick-or-treat for chocolate cake? Aaron Cordero, a 6-year-old San Antonian, dressed up as Gabriel Iglesias for Halloween and his costume is seriously spot on. With a Hawaiian shirt, jean shorts, tennis shoes and a chocolate cake in hand, Aaron is serving up the perfect get-up to pass as…

Fifth Murder Charge Added to “Angel of Death” Case

In the past six months, a Bexar County grand jury has issued five separate indictments to former nurse Genene Jones for the alleged murders of five children nearly 40 years ago. On Tuesday afternoon, Bexar County District Attorney Nico LaHood announced the latest indictment against Jones, the 66-year-old woman dubbed the “Angel of Death” for…

Converse Couple Charged with Feeding Children Cat Feces

A Converse couple was arrested Monday for allegedly violently abusing two children in their care. According to Bexar County arrest warrants, the two adults had forced the children (girls, ages 5 and 10) to brush their teeth with cat poop and wear a dog shock collar — and riddled their bodies with bruises and cuts.…

Beware the San Antonio Satan Fish

Ahhhh, Halloween in San Antonio. The weather is crisp, kids are trick-or-treating, parents indulge in a drink on the stoop and there may or may not be an eyeless creature with see-through skin lurking in the Edwards Aquifer. “Stranger things” are upon us, indeed. Scientists at University of Texas Austin are on the hunt this…

Gov. Abbott Looks Into Removing Confederate Plaque At Texas Capitol

Gov. Greg Abbott has finally acknowledged that the underlying cause of the Civil War may have been slavery. On Friday, Abbott met with Democratic state Rep. Eric Johnson to discuss removing a plaque from the hallways of the Texas Capitol praising the ancestors of Confederate soldiers. Installed during the rise of the the Civil Rights…

Long-Awaited Künstler Brewing Keeps Authentic German Beer on Tap

Name: Künstler Brewing (pronounced COON-stler BROO-ing). Background: After two previous names (the OK Brewery & Eishaus, San Antonio Brewing Company) and as many potential locations (the old Boneshaker’s space by the Hays Street Bridge, the old OK Bar & Grocery in Yanaguana Garden), Vera Deckard’s craft-beer-and-German-grub concept has opened for business in the Lone Star…

Federal Judge Temporarily Halts Trump’s Trans Military Ban

A federal judge has temporarily blocked parts of President Donald Trump’s transgender military ban while a lawsuit against the ban plays out in court. On Monday, U.S. District Judge Colleen Kollar-Kotelly in Washington, D.C. temporarily blocked the ban from going into effect, ruling that the military will instead comply with the 2016 policy in place…

Judge Wolff Investigates MLS Over Potential Austin Deal

On Oct. 16, the owner of the Columbus Crew — Columbus, Ohio’s Major League Soccer team — announced he’d move the team to Austin if the city didn’t build his team a new stadium. This declaration came as a shock to Bexar County Judge Nelson Wolff, who’d been encouraged by MLS officials to purchase the…

VIA Metro Waiving Bus Fees On Election Day

This Election Day, VIA Metropolitan Transit is offering free rides for San Antonio residents with a valid voter registration card. As part of the ongoing “Ride VIA to Vote” initiative, VIA is waiving fees on its regular bus line and its disabled riders service, VIAtrans, on Nov. 7. VIA is no stranger to helping the…

Texas Ag Commissioner Sid Miller Shares Joke About Suicide On Facebook

Texas Agricultural Commissioner Sid Miller has — yet again — used his wildly-popular Facebook page to share wildly-offensive content. On Sunday, Miller shared a “Joke of the Day” with his faithful followers that managed to both poke fun at suicide and perpetuate a racist stereotype.  “My friend was so depressed last night thinking about the…

9 Upcoming Concerts in San Antonio To End 2017 with a Bang

As Halloween looms, it’s hard not to think about how Thanksgiving and winter holidays are quickly approaching making us ask, “Where has this year gone?” I guess we’ve just been too busy turning up at concerts like Metallica and Janet Jackson. Or shows at Paper Tiger like Big Freedia, and House of Kenzo’s Snack Ball.…

Local Group Sues San Antonio for Removing Confederate Statue

In the 1890s, a group of San Antonio women raised money through quilting bees and bake sales to erect a towering monument to the Confederacy in Travis Park. Beneath it, they buried a time capsule holding a folded Confederate flag and a Confederate soldier’s Old Testament bible (along with other similar memorabilia).  More than a…

SAPD’s Special Victims Unit Has Failed to ‘Properly Investigate’ 130 Cases

San Antonio Police Chief William McManus has called for an external investigation into SAPD’s Special Victims Unit after an internal audit found more than 130 cases had “not been properly investigated.” SVU specifically handles cases involving human trafficking, domestic violence, rape, sexual assault, and other sex crimes. It’s unknown exactly how officers  mishandled these cases.…

Google Fiber is Coming to San Antonio — We Just Don’t Know When

Earlier this week, Google Fiber tweeted a GIF of cowboy boots line dancing on a wooden floor with the slightly ominous phrase: “Google Fiber is coming.” It came with a link and the text: “Alamo City! Get ready for faster 🚀, fairer 😀 , kinder ❤️ Internet. We’re almost there. #GoogleFiber” But Google Fiber wouldn’t give…

Texas House Speaker Joe Straus Won’t Seek Re-election

Five-term Texas House Speaker Joe Straus will not be running for re-election in 2018. “A confident leader knows when it’s time to give it back,” Straus said during a Wednesday morning press conference. “It’s the first time in decades that the speaker has been able to leave this office, you know, on his own terms.”…

Undocumented Teen Has Legal Abortion After Lengthy Tug-of-War In Federal Courts

The 17-year-old undocumented immigrant living in federal custody in Texas has finally had the legal abortion she requested over a month ago. After a legal tug-of-war with the federal government, attorneys with the American Civil Liberties Union representing the undocumented teenage girl claimed victory Monday — announcing that the girl (dubbed “Jane Doe”) had undergone…

San Antonio Quietly Unveiled Another $95,000 Toilet

In June 2016, the city installed a shiny new toilet in downtown San Antonio and the public promptly lost their shit. That’s because the standalone public restroom came with a $97,000 price tag — a number that sounded a little too high, even for a modern, crime-fighting, and surprisingly sanitary loo made in Portland, OR. The…

Savage Love: Necking

Q: In a frank exchange early in our courtship, I told my girlfriend that I have no kinks. As a faithful reader of Savage Love, I’m obviously not opposed to kinks — but I’ve never had any inclinations in that direction and am probably a typical hetero vanilla. As a result, I’m damn near clueless…

Touring Symphony Brings Legend of Zelda to Life at Majestic Theatre

Before you roll your eyes about this symphony inspired by a video game, take a moment to consider why The Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses even exists. Based on Japanese game designer Shigeru Miyamoto’s childhood adventures in the Kyoto countryside, the franchise (which boils down to green-tunicked hero Link saving Princess Zelda and…

Free Will Astrology (10/25/17-10/31/17)

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I share Vincent Van Gogh’s belief that “the best way to know life is to love many things.” But I also think that the next twelve months will be an inspiring time for you to be focused and single-minded in your involvement with love. That’s why I encourage you to take…


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