Actress Teri Polo juggles career and an aging, independent father in Relative Control

In the comedy Relative Control, actress Teri Polo stars as Sara Jones, a middle-aged attorney who’s attempting to balance her personal and professional life with little success.

Sara has just been hired to represent a company battling a hostile corporate takeover. At the same time, her aging father, Joe (Patrick McDade), has become a lot more accident-prone in recent weeks and needs a long-term solution for care.

Can Sara manage to get her independent father to understand that his health and well-being depends on whether he accepts the fact that he needs the kind of care that his daughter can’t provide?

Best known for her role as Ben Stiller’s wife in the Meet the Parents franchise, Polo, 55, recently talked to the Current about the film’s resonance with her and its parallels to her own relationship with her mother. She also touched on the challenges of balancing a family and a career.

Relative Control is currently available on digital platforms.

Were you able to empathize with your character and the issues she was experiencing in this film?

Yeah, at the time we were filming, my mom and I had the same issues going on. We had a very contentious relationship. She was my best friend and my arch nemesis all at the same time. I’ve been a somewhat single mom for a great deal of my children’s lives, so having to take care of everything resonated with me. So, [the film] was very interestingly parallel to my life. We filmed in Delaware, which is where [screenwriter] Charlene [Davis] is from. That’s where I was born and raised too, so it was like coming home for me.

Since you were having the same issues with your own mother, did making this film feel like a healing experience for you?

I wouldn’t necessarily say healing. I would just say validating. It’s not an uncommon situation in life at all. So, it was kind of validating [to know] that I’m not the only one that’s going through this with their parents, and that it’s not a horrible thing.

I think most parents would say that one of their biggest concerns about growing older is becoming a burden on their children. Joe, your father in this film, doesn’t seem to have those same concerns.

I think there was that concern for Joe, but at the same time, he just can’t help himself. I think that it comes out at the end. Sometimes we protect the most vulnerable parts of ourselves. Perhaps he did feel kind of badly about relying on us so much, but he covered it up with bluster.

You have adult children. Have you ever had conversations with them, even facetiously, about what they might do with you 40 years from now — and whether a retirement home might be an option?

No, but my mom and I had this conversation many times. I lost her in September of last year. She refused. She was not going to go to a home. She was going to stay in her house. It was the old joke of, “When I get to a certain point, take me out to the backyard and shoot me.” I kind of feel the same way. I don’t want to be a burden to my kids, but I know myself. I’m so stinking independent.

Have you ever felt as overwhelmed with your life and career as your character does in this film?

Every single second of every single day! Because [my] kids are older, I don’t have quite as many responsibilities. However, my daughter is still in school, and she’s involved in theater. So, I’m constantly going back and forth. And I do have a zoo. We have two dogs, three cats, a bird and two horses. And then there’s my career and my work. I don’t care what anybody says, but moms are the center of the family. If I’m not OK, then everything that orbits around me is off kilter. So, I’m pretty used to balancing everything. But it’s OK. I signed up for it.

How do you think this film would be different if your father was Jack Burns (Robert De Niro’s character in Meet the Parents)? Could you have gotten him into the car to go to a retirement home?

I think when you get to a certain age, you may resist it, and you may be angry and resent it. But you get to a certain point where you do have to admit that you do need help. I think I would eventually get [Jack] in the car, but he would be a lot more controlling: “Do it this way, do it that way.”

This year marks the 25th anniversary of Meet the Parents. Has there ever been a movie that features more cringeworthy scenes than the ones Ben Stiller’s character experiences?

I don’t know of any other movies. Obviously, Meet the Parents is so universal and so timeless. Almost everybody has been in that kind of position before. So, it’s definitely a good representation. I’m sticking with Meet the Parents.

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This article appears in Apr 16-29, 2025.