Jackie Gonzalez, a contestant on Squid Game: The Challenge, takes a leap of faith. Credit: Netflix

Editor’s note: The following interview contains major spoilers for the first season of Squid Game: The Challenge on Netflix.

Jackie Gonzalez long dreamed of competing on a reality TV show. When she finally got her break, well, let’s just say they don’t come much bigger.

The San Antonio-based business owner was among the contestants on the first season of Squid Game: The Challenge. The reality show competition is based on the hit 2021 South Korean Netflix series of the same name, which happened to be the streaming service’s most-watched show of all time.

In the South Korean thriller, a group of 456 players competes in a series of children’s games that result in death for the losers. There’s nothing quite that shocking in the reality show version — no one dies, in other words — but the setup is the same. More importantly, the winner of the contest takes home $4.56 million.

“I wouldn’t have thought about [participating] if death was on the line, but on [Squid Game: The Challenge] there was no risk,” Gonzalez, 29, told the Current during an interview this week. “No one would turn down that chance. I competed for myself, my family and my community.”

Born and raised in San Antonio, Gonzalez attended Brandeis High School but struggled in class because she’s hard of hearing. She earned her GED and went to Stephen F. Austin State University where she studied deaf education.

Gonzalez now co-owns online retail shop Jack & Bec with her sister. Together, they also post content on their TikTok page, which boasts more than 286,000 followers.

We won’t tell you exactly how far Gonzalez made it on the show — all 10 episodes are now streaming on Netflix — but we will say that she does her hometown proud. Our interview below does include major spoilers, so proceed at your own risk. Green light … red light!

You’re introduced in Episode 5 of the series. Did you think the storytelling would work out that way?

I kind of expected it. I was kind of working it out in my head. How is this going to go? It only made sense that Episode 5 would end on a cliffhanger because so many people chose their allies and their friends. In my group of friends, we kind of knew when they said, “Pick a partner,” that we wanted to part ways, because we did not want to have to go up against each other. We had a feeling that was what was going to happen.

Gonzalez prepares for another challenge on the reality show. Credit: Netflix

When you started the competition, did you think you would get as far as you did? For example, did you think you’d get through Red Light, Green Light in the first episode?

My idea going in was that that money was already mine. It was already in my pocket. I had already won. From my personal experience living life, I needed to think like that. I couldn’t have any doubts in my mind at all. I didn’t want any doubts to seep into me. Red Light, Green Light was the most difficult challenge. I haven’t talked to anyone who hasn’t said that it was one of the most difficult things they’ve ever done in their life. It was a physically demanding and mentally demanding challenge.

What did the reality show teach you about yourself?

In one of my interviews [on the show], I say, “I’m a lone ranger.” But after completing the competition and watching the show, I really don’t think that’s the case. I made so many friends and connections. I still hold onto them till this day. So, I don’t think that rings true anymore. I don’t think I’m a lone ranger. I think I depend on community and friendship and connections a lot more than I thought I did.

We’ll spoil the show now and tell readers that you didn’t end up winning the $4.56 million, unfortunately. Has that been hard to come to terms with, especially since you came so close?

Definitely. I kind of had an idea [about how far I was] going to make it. I kind of thought, “OK, it wouldn’t be all that surprising if now is where it ends.” So, I was a little prepared for it. But, yeah, you go home, and you just think, “If I had only listened to my gut!” So, yeah, I think about that moment often, especially when you’re about to pay bills. You’re like, “Gosh, if only I had won that money, then my house would be paid off!”

As a contestant on the show, you’re not only representing San Antonio, but you’re representing Latinos and people who are deaf and hard of hearing. What do you hope those communities see when they watch you compete on the show?

I feel like there’s so much representation that we have on TV and in media, but there’s so much that has still not been seen. I wanted to represent the deaf and hard-of-hearing Latino community. In college, I learned that almost 40% of deaf and hard-of-hearing Latinos will drop out of high school because of the lack of access and slipping through the cracks.

Not seeing yourself represented is a huge deal in the deaf community. We need more hard-of-hearing role models. I didn’t meet another deaf person in real life until I was 14, let alone another deaf Latina. So, for me, it was really important to be on the show. If I had met a successful deaf or hard-of-hearing Latina as a high school student, I think a lot of things might be different.

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This article appears in Nov 29 – Dec 12, 2023.