When Texas Senate Bill 14 was signed into law in 2023, San Antonio contractor Ed Diaz knew his family’s life would never be the same.
The Republican-backed legislation, which the all-GOP Texas Supreme Court upheld the following year, bans gender-affirming medical care for trans youth living in the state. Diaz worried about what that meant for his own 13-year-old trans daughter, Charli.
In the documentary The Dads, which recently premiered at the SXSW Film & TV Festival, Diaz is one of the fathers of trans and nonbinary children who share their stories of fear, love and resistance as they maneuver through a political system that’s making it increasingly difficult for their kids to live openly and safely as themselves.
Since SB 14 passed, Charli and her stepmother — former San Antonio chef and restaurateur Tim McDiarmid — have officially become permanent residents of Canada. Diaz plans to reunite with them in coming weeks.
During a recent interview, Diaz, 55, a 1988 graduate of Lee High School, talked about his family’s decision to move north of the border and what it’s been like to have the support of other fathers of trans children.
How is Charli doing in Canada?
She’s on her way to becoming a Canadian citizen. We got her in a great school that she loves. She is flourishing. It’s been amazing for us. Sadly, other families dealing with this don’t have the opportunity to leave. Even folks in blue states are losing access to medical care for their kids. All those things are eroding. The public still doesn’t seem to understand the magnitude of it. They think, “Well, it doesn’t affect me personally, so it’s probably not that big of a deal.”
I’m sure the decision to leave came down to the unconditional love you have for her.
Yes. I felt like we had fought as much as we could here in Texas. We want to live our lives and be happy. I don’t want to have to deal with all the laws about using the wrong bathroom and the undercurrent of violence toward trans people. It felt safer for her to be somewhere else.
What made you decide to share your family’s story in this documentary?
It happened organically. I got connected with advocacy groups in Texas when [anti-trans] legislation started getting passed. I knew I wanted to do something. After they banned gender-affirming care here in Texas, there was a [Dads Foundation] retreat that provided support. It was an amazing experience. The film was born out of that. It was about being able to speak out and tell our stories. Our reality is in stark contrast to all the propaganda and hate speech that the other side presents.
How did the political climate affect your family on a day-to-day level?
We were keenly aware of everything happening in Texas. My involvement got more serious around the time [Texas legislators] were supporting a sports ban in public schools [for trans youth]. Then, in one legislative session, they banned gender-affirming medical care. That was when [Texas Attorney General] Ken Paxton and [Gov.] Greg Abbott were trying to go after parents for child abuse. People were worried that they were going to get a knock at the door and that some weird investigation would start where they would try to take your kids away. It was traumatic and stressful.
How would you describe your journey through fatherhood during this time?
Everyone has their own individual journey. Some of what I experienced stemmed from fear, because you’re afraid that something bad is going to happen to your child. But then I just started taking more of a lead from my daughter as we allowed her to express herself in a way she felt comfortable. You could see dramatic changes at school and in her happiness.
Critics say a 5-year-old kid is too young to make these kinds of decisions on their own. How do you respond to that?
That’s a trope the other side likes to use to try to instill doubt and fear and undermine the reality of the situation. Just think about your own life. How did you know you were a boy or a girl? It’s innate. My daughter was born this way. The expression was always there. It’s just a matter of whether you want to support it or not. People who don’t understand this issue think that supporting your child means you’re already getting medical treatment. None of that stuff starts until around puberty. So, for many years, it was all about supporting hairstyles, clothing choices, names and pronouns. It’s a big falsehood to say that kids don’t know who they are.
How important is the support system you have with other fathers of trans and nonbinary kids from around the country?
It’s been vital for me. It’s been an experience I didn’t really know I needed. Fundamentally, it’s been a tremendous source of support. I think it’s hard for other people to relate to the experience. But the outpouring of love and support for each other and for our kids has grown much stronger.
What do you hope other parents take away from watching The Dads?
I hope they listen to their heart. I think if you truly love your child, then you want what’s best for them. It’s important for people to support their children. The outcome for those who don’t is disheartening. It’s just a miserable way to live. Most of the kids who find support outside their family find it through community, but having a family who supports you makes a big difference. Hopefully, what they see in the film is that our kids are loved and feel supported and safe.
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