Assclown Alert: Peddling Bibles amended with Christian nationalist propaganda with David Barton

Assclown Alert is a column of opinion, analysis and snark.

As if Christian nationalist David Barton hadn’t shoveled enough steaming manure to last a lifetime, Right Wing Watch reports the Texas-based pseudo-historian is now promoting his “Founder’s Bible” as an unforgettable Mother’s Day gift.

In case you’re unfamiliar with the “Founder’s Bible” published by Barton’s WallBuilders organization, it’s a New American Standard translation augmented by essays claiming the Founding Fathers established the U.S. to be a Christian theocracy.

Among the baseless claims Barton and others lays out in the essays are that the book of Exodus provides the foundations for the Second Amendment and Independence Day is somehow based on Biblical precedent, according to a Right Wing Watch analysis. The watchdog group further describes the texts as “full of the sorts of absurd claims we have come to expect from Barton.”

And, boy howdy, has Barton — a vice chair of the Republican Party of Texas from 1997 to 2006 — propagated a metric shit-ton of absurd claims.

Beyond his grand whopper that the U.S. Constitution doesn’t call for separation of church and state, Barty Boy’s claimed Jesus opposed the minimum wage, that the Founding Fathers opposed teaching the theory of evolution and that intolerance against LGBTQIA+ people is a sign of a nation embarking on a spiritual revival.

Despite Barton’s claims that he knows more about history and constitutional law than the myriad scholars whose work he contradicts, he has no formal credentials in either field. Indeed, his only non-ceremonial degree appears to be a bachelor’s in Christian education from Oral Roberts University.

Gosh, it’s a solid bet moms everywhere just can’t wait to receive Bibles tricked out with far-right indoctrination sessions. And with a price tag as high as $124.99 for a signed heirloom edition, who wouldn’t want to shell out big bucks for the best in Christian nationalist propaganda from an assclown of Barton’s pedigree?

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This article appears in Apr 16-29, 2025.