Gov. Greg Abbott speaks at a recent event touting school vouchers. Credit: Instagram / governorabbott

Assclown Alert is a column of opinion, analysis and snark.

The majority of the Texas Legislature doesn’t want what Gov. Greg Abbott is peddling when it comes to school vouchers. Lawmakers said so five times. First during the regular legislative session earlier this year, then during an unprecedented four special sessions, Democrats and rural Republicans in the Texas House shut down the voucher plan the GOP governor has been shilling for the past year.

The old adage you can’t polish a turd comes to mind here. But, alas, Abbott and his allies didn’t even seem to try. They attempted to force through the same bad piece of legislation with minimal changes meant to allay the concerns of rural lawmakers who correctly pointed out the plan was robbing public schools to fund private ones for the rich.

That exercise in legislative futility exhausted — at least until Abbott calls another special session — the governor is now in revenge mode. Over the past few weeks, he’s begun backing primary challengers to those who voted against vouchers, San Antonio State Rep. Steve Allison among them.

The irony here is that Abbott is likely to come out this latest escape looking like just as big a loser.

Allison won reelection in Alamo Heights’ House District 121 by 10 points in 2022, and he blew out his previous primary challenger 84-16. Meanwhile, the candidate Abbott’s backing, Marc LaHood, was routed by more than 12 points last year when he tried to run for Bexar County DA.

And as a big-city Republican, Allison is theoretically the low-hanging fruit. The majority of the other GOP House members Abbott is trying to primary represent rural districts where voters know full well their rep stood between them and the governor’s shit sandwich of an education bill.

“Many of those incumbents represent rural voters who understand why they did what they did,” Southern Methodist University political scientist Cal Jillson said. “I think Abbott’s going to have a hard time earning victories there.”

That means when primary time comes along, Texas’ assclown of a governor is likely to be a six-time loser when it comes to vouchers.

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