Credit: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.

A recent Amber Alert fired off by the Texas Department of Public Safety warned that a child had been abducted by a 28-year-old male named Chucky with red or auburn hair and blue denim overalls. The perp, it added, stands a mere 3 feet, 1 inch tall.

The Friday email alert also gave the subject’s weight as 16 pounds and cautioned that he carries a “huge kitchen knife.”

In case anyone didn’t get the cinematic allusion by that point, the abductor’s race was listed as “Other: Doll,” and the alert included a photo of the homicidal toy Chucky from the 1988 horror flick Child’s Play

Credit: Texas Department of Public Safety

DPS has since apologized for the goof, saying in a statement supplied to media outlets that the message was a “test malfunction.” The department also assured readers that it’s “diligently working to ensure this does not happen again.”

Predictably, that the sheer weirdness of the misfired alert has grabbed headlines. San Antonio’s KENS5 was the first to report the gaffe, but the New York Times, England’s BBC and Germany’s DeutscheWelle also appear to know a good Texas story when they see it.

Watch out, Florida.

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Sanford Nowlin is editor-in-chief of the San Antonio Current. He holds degrees from Trinity University and the University of Texas at San Antonio, and his work has been featured in Salon, Alternet, Creative...