In a new feature, the Current will begin presenting a review of the week’s news in limerick form.
Why? First, it pleases the people of Nantucket. Second, it appears American attention spans have slipped so much that 90% of U.S. media consumers can no longer make it through the end of a 400-word news story.
So, without further jawboning, here are limericks summing up a some of the week’s biggest news stories.
Federal judge orders release of 5-year-old Liam Ramos
There once was a judge in SA town,
Who wore quite a skeptical frown,
At ICE officials’ stance,
He called incompetence
And ordered young Liam unbound.
Sen. Ted Cruz calls for arming Iranian protesters and disarming America’s
Ted Cruz once appeared on TV,
To preach armed revolt overseas.
“Give Iranians the guns!”
But at home? “You’re thugs, sons.”
Turns out our rights transfer selectively.
Texas Education Agency moves to correct 4,200 errors in Bible-infused curriculum
There once was a Bible-infused plan,
Quickly dashed off by a partisan clan.
Seems spellcheck was sin,
Peer review? Nah, fuck it, friend —
But it owned the libs, so it ran.
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