Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's just some dude from San Antonio.
Though not included in the Marvel universe, these "superpowers" are very real — and somehow, everyone in the Alamo City seems to have them.
So load up your utility belt with Vicks Vapo Rub and cascarones. Your city needs you.
The 25 'superpowers' everyone in San Antonio seems to have
By San Antonio Current Staff on Fri, Aug 30, 2024 at 5:45 pm
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Jaime Monzon
Having the strength not to throw out your back even though you’re wearing 50 pounds of Fiesta medals.
Photo via Google Maps
Being able to figure out where someone went to high school within 10 minutes of meeting them.
Photo via Instagram / banditbbqsatx
Being able to fund any relative’s lifesaving operation with a barbecue plate sale.
Photo by Jaime Monzon
Not coming down with any horrible diseases after using the porta-potties at Fiesta.
Instagram / mxbowlbakery
The ability to detect anyone approaching from behind with a cascarone in their hand.
Upsplash / Louis Hansel @shotsoflouis
Deflecting ojo simply by rubbing an egg all over your body
Facebook / Selena
The ability to never get burnt out on music by Selena, Girl in a Coma and the Texas Tornadoes, no matter how many times you hear it.
Shutterstock / The Image Party
Having the constitution to avoid heartburn and stomach ulcers no matter how many Flamin’ Hot Cheetos you eat.
Shutterstock / nito
Surviving multiple childhood chancla thrashings.
Wikimedia Commons / Thomas R Machnitzki
The ability to stack an infinite amount of random stuff in the back of a single pickup truck.
Wikimedia Commons / MoToMo
Having a primo on call for every need, including car maintenance and home repair.
Courtesy Photo / San Antonio Zoo
Being related to half the city and still finding people to date without making it creepy.
Shutterstock / Vershinin89
Being able to guzzle down countless bottles of Big Red without puking.
Shutterstock / Brent Hofacker
Being able to instantly detect whether a restaurant’s tortillas are store-bought or made in-house.
Clayton Baines
Knowing someone else is from San Antonio by their tongue click after telling a joke
Courtesy Photo / CineFestival
Surviving multiple encounters with supernatural entities including the Donkey Lady, El Camaroncito, the kids on the tracks or La Lechuza
Wikimedia Commons / BORNTHISWAYMEDIA
Being such a chismosa that you’re borderline omniscient
Oscar Moreno
Being surrounded on all sides by fireworks at every major holiday and somehow avoiding incineration.
Wikimedia Commons / Chensiyuan
Developing a sixth sense to know the instant Charles Barkley calls your city fat.
Wikimedia Commons / ajay_suresh
Having the ability to cure any illness with home remedies, Vicks and epazote.
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