Thursday, June 7, 2018

Brad Parscale Launches a Website Trumpeting the Boss' Accomplishments

Posted By on Thu, Jun 7, 2018 at 4:17 PM

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San Antonio web designer-turned-Trump 2020 campaign manager Brad Parscale's latest promo effort for the president is ripped straight from the boss' playbook of brazen braggadocio.

Parscale has announced the launch of promiseskept.com, a website intended to present a "robust record" of the administration's "growing portfolio of accomplishments" — everything from rescinding DACA and backing out of the U.N. climate-change agreement to telling those pesky Iranians to go fuck themselves. (Notably absent were mentions of the size of the prez's hands and his hyperbole-laced checkup from White House doc Ronny "Now I'm the One Being Probed" Jackson. But, hey, it's a website, so those may be coming in a future update.)

So, why does the world need a website cataloguing everything our reality-star president has done since taking office? Blame the media, Brad the Beard says.

"It’s a shame that such a platform is even necessary to overcome the errors and omissions [in] reporting by the mainstream media – full of distortions, underreporting, and lies – but we are pleased to present such a record of achievement by President Trump nonetheless," Parscale said in a statement posted on the Trump campaign website.

Naturally, Parscale's tweet unveiling the site sticks with his boss'  favorite media-bashing talking points, right down to the trusty ol' "FakeNews" hashtag. "The truth will be told about a remarkable 500-day record of accomplishments!" Pascale says, adding the exclamation point for extra Trumpiness.

Who says you can't start out as a lowly coder and make the sales team? Keep it up, Brad, and you might even take home a freezer full of Trump Steaks as your year-end bonus.

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