San Antonio has its own unique culture, and we’re not really into adapting it to fit what folks in other parts of the country, or even the state, consider normal.

We’re friendly folks, often polite to a fault. But, dammit, there are certain local beliefs and traditions we’re willing to fight over.

So, at the risk of sounding confrontational, we rounded up 28 hills San Antonio residents are prepared to die on — because, well, we’re right and those other pinche people have no idea what they’re talking about. 

It’s perfectly acceptable to burn up all your vacation time at work for Fiesta. Photo by Jaime Monzon
If a restaurant doesn’t make its own torillas, it may as well be Taco Bell. Photo via Instagram / alamocafe
The Spurs have the best fans in the NBA. Photo by Jaime Monzon
The sign may say “Bill Miller,” but it’s Bill Miller’s. And we ain’t budging on this. Photo via Google Maps
Setting foot inside an art gallery during First Friday is purely optional. Photo via Instagram / txsundwn
Any hint of inclement weather is cause to stock up a week’s worth of groceries at H-E-B. Photo via Twitter / Shermanszippo
Anything tastes better when topped with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. Anything. Photo via Instagram / mochinut_sa
Turn signals are optional. Photo via Pexels / Markus Spiske
You should never pass up anything Selena-related, whether it’s a tribute night, free store merchandise or a chance to sing “Como la Flor” at the karaoke bar. Photo by Philip Tovar
Regardless how many times the Ghost Tracks have been debunked, that shit gives you goosebumps. Photo via Google Maps
If there’s not yet a festival or parade for it, there should be. Photo by Drew Patterson
Knowing where someone went to high school is akin to knowing their astrological sign, blood type and psychological profile. Photo courtesy of Edgewood Independent School District
It’s worth standing in a line, no matter how long, for tickets, free merchandise or to get into any Fiesta event. Photo by Jaime Monzon
Complimentary bread at restaurants is bullshit. Bring the chips and salsa. Photo via Instagram / rosariossa
He may be a good actor, but Tommy Lee Jones is kind of an asshole. Photo via HBO Max
it’s a chalupa, dammit, not a tostada. Photo via Instagram / elmilagritocafe
It’s acceptable to get teary eyed when thinking about closed retail spots like Solo Serve, Joske’s and Handy Dan. Photo via Instagram / chrstphrbrwn
Our zoo is better than your zoo. Photo courtesy of San Antonio Zoo Credit: Photo courtesy of San Antonio Zoo
Breakfast tacos may shave a few years off our lives, but they’re totally worth it. Photo via Instagram / lostacosgueros
There can never be too many restaurants called Blanco Café. Photo via Instagram / wtfdusk
Big Red tastes like something other than sugar. Not sure what that “something” is, but it’s not just sugar. Photo by Drew Patterson
Our city has more old shit than your city. Photo courtesy of UTSA Libraries Digital Collections
If it’s below 70 degrees outside, it’s fucking cold. Photo via Twitter / kendraskyy
If you live in SA long enough, you’ll have a “hook up” for any kind of service you need, whether it’s plumbing, car repairs or scoring an inspection sticker for that old truck you know won’t pass. Photo via Unsplash / Enis Yavuz
Interstate 35 has never not been under construction. Photo via Google Maps
There’s a 50-50 chance you’ll run into someone you know every time you visit the H-E-B. Photo via Twitter / Rjmarquez89
It’s totally worth camping out overnight to secure an Easter spot in Brackenridge Park or prime seats for a Fiesta parade. Photo by Jaime Monzon
Hiring a mover makes no sense if you or a friend owns a pickup truck. Photo by Sarah Martinez