With dumb names as obvious as Hooters and Bikinis, you might think creating the perfect breastaurant brand was as easy as slapping a trademark on some nickname for female anatomy and calling it a day. But a lot more that goes into it than that. Simultaneously, the name must tell you what’s really on offer (hint: it ain’t the wings), but be clean—or clever—enough to fly under the radar of the morality police. It must convey enough safe, non-sexual fun to appease non-oglers and be macho enough to pass for a sports bar. Think you can figure out which name is for real and which is a falsie?
1. Captain Booty’s Boathouse
2. Mugs ‘N Jugs
3. Shorty’s Bar and Grill
4. The Tartan Harlot
5. Pat McPhanny’s Olde Irish Pub
6. Big Apples Pizzeria
7. Cowgirls Espresso
8. Bone Daddy’s House of Smoke
9. Show-Me’s Restaurant & Bar
10. The ManCave
11. Shakes ’n’ Splits Ice Cream Emporium
12. Heart Attack Grill
13. Halos & Horns
14. Brickhouse Tavern and Tap
15. Buttery Nip’s Bar and Restaurant
16. Dick’s First Resort
Answers: 1) False 2) True 3) True 4) False 5) False 6) False 7) True 8) True 9) True 10) True 11) False 12) True 13) False—but it is an excellent Dolly Parton album 14) True, with a new location in Stone Oak 15) False 15) We just couldn’t resist … False
This article appears in Dec 18-24, 2013.