Welcome to the Best of San Antonio, the issue in which our readers and Current staff determine the superlative aspects of living in the Alamo City.
For the first time in several years, the Current did not disqualify chains from the competition in order to divine a truer picture of voters’ tastes. Well, I guess we have to handle the truth: Pizza Hut won Best Pizza and Olive Garden Best Italian instead of homegrown favorites such as Florio’s and Ciao. Welcome to the mall culture, the abyss that swallows originality.
Despite our occasional despondency at the results, the best part of the Best of is reading the weird answers offered by our readers. Some responses were clearly wink-wink jokes; others were unintentionally unironic. For example, although we didn’t disqualify chain stores, we had hoped people voting for SA’s Best Band would weight the city’s finest musical offerings, not AC/DC (Australia), Aerosmith (Boston), Eric Clapton (England), U2 (Ireland), or Chicago, who are from …
| Best of San Antonio 2005
Food Arts Music Media People & Politics Places |
McDonald’s could be the Best Restaurant To Take a Date if you’re 12, but we’re intrigued at the idea of a plate of the Best Gorditas at Resurrection of the Lord Church. Yet, it’s a fact that, contrary to one voter’s opinion, Costco doesn’t have the Best Pizza, nor does Stop & Go have the Best Coffee. That is unless you have an iron gut, no sense of smell, and a buddless tongue.
Our prurient interests were aroused by a vote for Best Movie Theater: Stalls 3 & 5 at the Apollo. Please, tell us more! Was it the men’s or women’s bathroom?
Arnold Schwarzenagger’s steroid-chiseled face is surely not the freshest in politics, and we have to question whether the most effective activist is the 35-year-old the Weather Underground. While we agree with their outrage and sense of injustice toward the U.S. government, bombs make us nervous.
How could we forget fashion as Best Unchampioned Cause, since there is absolutely no mention of fashion, haute couture, or clothing in magazines, television, or newspapers?
It appears the anti-Leticia Van De Putte contingent, all, uh, one of them, thinks anything the state senator proposes is the Best Example of Taxpayer Waste. But her proposals had stiff competition from the apparent money pit of people watering plants downtown and girls collecting rent in bikinis. Or maybe it was girls watering plants downtown and people collecting rent in bikinis.
And, last but not least, the Best Place to Get a Tattoo is apparently on your ball sac (ouch!) or in prison, which could not be as amazing as getting a tattoo on your ball sac while in prison.
Enough said. Enjoy the results. •
This article appears in Apr 20-26, 2005.