Best Blogger 1. Sean Paul Kelley The Agonist,
Agonist.org/user/sean_paul
2. (Tie) Dave Maass Chisme Libre, Sacurrent.com
Stephen Walker The Walker Report,
Walkerreport.blogspot.com
Stephen Walker, Balcones Heights councilman and consummate red-light camera watchdog, posted for the 1,000th time on the “pulse of San Antonio’s” Walker Report this month! Dave Maass, a staff writer who joined the Current in October 2006, may not have the same quantity of watchdogging, but voters say he’s Walker’s equal in quality. (Insert your own mention of Sean Paul “Nevermind-the-Facts” Kelly here.)
Best YouTuber 1. (Tie) Blake Cormier Youtube.com/tunaketchup
Hey Hondo
Youtube.com/heyhondo
2. (Tie) Splat TV Youtube.com/splattv2
Comic Blender
Youtube.com/bobscomics
3. Clemens Broadcast Network Youtube.com/CBNvideo
If there are two key ingredients for cult success it’s A) a great nom de guerre and B) a great beard. Blake Cormier, aka Tuna Ketchup, rocks both. The 26-year-old YouTuber’s uploaded 40 me-and-my-mate-in-a-studio videos in just under a year. None so far have been featured by YouTube because, according to Cormier, “We say words like ‘fuck,’ ‘shitface,’ and ‘buhgina.’” Make “buhgina” ingredient three.
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Best Free WiFi Hotspot 1. Wildfire Coffee Roasters 15502 Huebner, Wildfirecoffee.com
2. Ruta Maya Riverwalk 107 E. Martin, Rutamayariverwalk.com
3. Hotel Valencia 150 E. Houston, Hotelvalencia.com
Because we nearly faced a tie for second place in this category, we decided to take into consideration one voter’s nomination for “WHEREVER DEADBEATS CONGREGATE.” One call confirmed it: a Ruta Maya barrista suspiciously confirmed that because the bus station’s down the road, they’re definitely a deadbeat hotspot, solidifying our office-away-from-the-office as first runner-up.
Best Talk-Show Host 1. Chris Duel KTSA 550 AM
2. Jason and Rob Thompson WOAI 1200 AM
3. Kidd Kraddick MIX 96.1 FM
Duel came to 550 KTSA as a transplant from WOAI, where his show became San Antonio’s highest rated radio talk show occupying the afternoon drivetime slot. A San Antonio native, Duel tackles the big issues with both national and local newsmakers daily. He’s widely popular for his energetic and entertaining style. The show also travels, broadcasting live from locations around the city, and as far away as Ground Zero and the Holy Land.
Best Public-Access TV 1. Robb’s Metalworks Cable Channel 50, new episode
every 3rd Sunday 10pm
2. Drop the Beat Cable Channel 20, Sunday midnight
3. (Tie) Our Part of Town Twilite Show Cable Channel 20, Sunday 4:30pm
Anime Fun TV Cable Channel 20, Saturday 11pm
Robb Chavez is the soul of SA metal, a dedicated family man who refuses to give up his youthful passion for headbanging. Robb’s Metalworks is his television forum, a celebration of San Antonio’s favorite form of music, with a lively combination of video clips and Chavez’s perpetually giddy interviews with the giants of the genre.
Best Weatherperson 1. Steve Browne KSAT 12
2. Jennifer Broome WOAI 4
3. Bill Taylor KENS 5
We’re pleased to discover that San Antonians feel passionately about their weatherpeople — Current readers voted in droves for this tightly contested category. Citing an initial fascination with snowstorms as incentive, Browne has now spent 15 years forecasting in a city that sees minor snowflakes about once every five years. He’s rumored to be a night owl; look for him next time you’re making the rounds at Sherlock’s.
Best (Express-News) Columnist 1. Cary Clack 2. Jeanne Jackle 3. Carlos Guerra The Express-News’ Cary Clack is a columnist nice enough to apologize to readers if he misspells the names of well-loved heroes. He honed his sincerity in the summer of 1984 as a speechwriter for the late Coretta Scott King, and he makes San Antonians feel good with his caring and sympathy. But why the sudden relocation to the breezy SA Life section, Cary?
Best Morning Radio Talk Show 1. Lisle & Hahn 99.5 KISS FM
2. Joe “Pags” Pagliarulo WOAI 1200 AM
3. Kidd Kraddick MIX 96.1 FM
Loyal readers likely remember that newcomer Kidd Chris from the now-defunct K-ROCK edged out San Antonio veterans Lisle and Hahn in the Best Radio DJ category two years ago; groupies from either station know the morning airwaves played host to an all-out war between the dueling shows. Kidd left for Philadelphia and syndication in 2005, leaving his adversaries to reign over San Antonio’s mornings. Turncoat listeners, get your fix of crass humor twice daily — tune in to 99.5 in the morning and catch Kidd on Philly’s drivetime waves at 941freefm.com.
Best Local Website 1. Mysa.com 2. Sacurrent.com 3. Varcitysquad.com Oh surfers, dear surfers, is San Antonio’s online landscape really so vacant that Mysa.com deserves first place? Rumor has that even the Express-News and Hearst wish they could wriggle out of their web partnership with KENS-5 and Belo. Nevertheless, we suppose we should at least give them props for developing a multimedia sub-site for the Alamo City Rollergirls.
Best MySpace Page 1. Helotes Mulch Fire Myspace.com/mulchfire
2. Varcity Squad Myspace.com/varcitysquad
3. Keep San Antonio Lame Myspace.com/ksal
Backed by the keyboard equivalent of a laser-light show, San Antonio hip-hop/R&B artists Varcity Squad treat you to the smegma edit of “Whut” on their profile: “See my penis in her face / call her potty mouth.” Squad up!
Best Anchor 1. Chris Marrou KENS 5 CBS Eyewitness News
2. Randy Beamer WOAI 4 NBC News
3. Tanji Patton WOAI 4 NBC News
Chris Marrou has presided over KENS-TV newscasts since 1973 (discounting his year-long “lost weekend” in Boston). The lordly anchor taunts us nightly with unscripted, conservative commentary, like after a People’s Choice Awards report when he said, “Why didn’t they just give one of those guys from Brokeback Mountain best actress?”
This article appears in May 23-29, 2007.