Abbott orders Texas Capitol flags at full-staff for Trump inauguration. Because of course he does.

Editor’s note: The following is a piece of opinion and analysis.

Grovel much, Greg?

After president-elect Donald Trump fired off a woe-is-me social media post lamenting that the flags lowered to honor the passing of President Jimmy Carter wouldn’t be standing straight and tall for his inauguration, Gov. Greg Abbott has fallen all over himself to set things right for the Great One.

The ever-obsequious Abbott fired off a Monday morning news release letting Texans know he’ll break federal protocol by ordering all flags raised to full-staff at the Texas Capitol and “all state buildings” for Donny Dimwit’s big day, which falls on Jan. 20.

President Joe Biden ordered U.S. flags to fly at half-staff for 30 days in honor of Carter, the longest-living president, who died Dec. 29. That order echoes federal code, which says flags should be lowered to half-staff for 30 days from the death of a sitting or former president. However, as we have learned, the man-baby who’s about to return to the Oval Office doesn’t care much for federal protocols — or looking bad. In a Jan. 3 post on his Truth Social platform, Trump lamented that the big, bad, America-hating Dems are dancing in the streets because he won’t get the full-flag experience. Boo hoo.

“The Democrats are all ‘giddy’ about our magnificent American Flagpotentially [sic] being at ‘half mast’ during my Inauguration,” Trump posted. “They think it’s so great, and are so happy about it because, in actuality, they don’t love our Country, they only think about themselves. Look at what they’ve done to our once GREAT America over the past four years – It’s a total mess! In any event, because of the death of President Jimmy Carter, the Flag may, for the first time ever during an Inauguration of a future President, be at half mast. Nobody wants to see this, and no American can be happy about it. Let’s see how it plays out. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”

As is often the case, Trump’s wrong about the history part — flags flew at half-mast during Richard Nixon’s second inauguration due to the death of President Harry S. Truman. Somehow, though, Tricky Dick managed to pull on his big boy pants and deal with the shit without acting like a 4 year old.

At this point, who would expect anything different from Trump? Or, for that matter, from Abbott, who has repeatedly proven there are no limits when it comes to seeing just how far he can tunnel up between his BFF’s bronzer-slathered butt cheeks.  

Pursuant to federal statute, the U.S. flag should be displayed “especially on…Inauguration Day, January 20,” Abbott let Texans know in his Monday news release. Of course, he conveniently left out the part about flag protocol when it comes to dead presidents.

But, hey, let’s not let those kinds of minor details get in the way of a good sphincter snorkeling.

In a written statement included in the release, Governor Supercuts spilled a little ink to show respect to Carter, saying his “steadfast leadership left a lasting legacy that will be felt for generations to come.” But the majority of the statement boils down to this: Trump’s the Man and we should all kiss the ring. 

“On January 20, our great nation will celebrate our democratic tradition of transferring power to a new President by inaugurating the 47th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump,” the Republican governor said. “As we unite our country and usher in this new era of leadership, I ordered all flags to be raised to full-staff at the Texas Capitol and all state buildings for the inauguration of President Trump. While we honor the service of a former President, we must also celebrate the service of an incoming President and the bright future ahead for the United States of America.”

As mentioned earlier, there’s no surprise here. Abbott’s repeatedly showed just how submissive he’s willing to be to the Grifter-in-Chief. From demonizing immigrants to ordering a useless audit of the 2020 election to wasting money on Trump’s bullshit border wall, the governor is playing to an audience of one.

Apparently, being a sniveling toady is easier than putting in the hard work needed to solve Texas’ real problems, and Abbott’s shown he’s got limitless buckets of self-esteem to sacrifice at the Altar of MAGA.  

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This article appears in Jan 8-21, 2025.