Assclown Alert: Banning THC for the sake of political theater with Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick

Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick’s been an unmitigated shitshow when it comes to policy. Instead, the man who controls the agenda of the Texas Senate prefers to build on his background as an AM-radio shock jock, using his position of power to engage in tiresome partisan bomb throwing.

This gathering of the Texas Legislature proved no exception, as Patrick threatened to call emergency session after emergency session if he couldn’t get lawmakers to pass a complete ban on all hemp products containing THC, the compound in pot that produces a stoned feeling.

Never mind that the same legislative body voted in 2019 to legalize hemp, thus opening the door for an industry that now supports 50,000 jobs and generates millions in tax dollars. Even then, it stood to reason that people would figure out how make money off the crop’s ability to get people high.

As retailers, ranging from smoke shops and dispensaries to neighborhood gas stations, began selling smokeable, drinkable and consumable products containing THC, lawmakers were right to be wary of an unregulated Wild West approach.

Many in the burgeoning industry argued that smart legislation could set up age limits to purchase the products, rein in their potency and establish testing to ensure their safety.

But rather than listen to their urging, Daffy Dan did what he always does, which is to take an all-or-nothing approach. He demanded a complete ban — which he got in the form of Senate Bill 3, legislation that now sits on Gov. Greg Abbott’s desk.

No doubt, a few bad actors will be shut down if the governor signs SB 3. However, the collateral damage will include small-business owners and farmers who assumed the state would behave reasonably when it came to hemp regulation. It also includes veterans with PTSD and people with chronic conditions, who purchase hemp products for relief, not to mention regular folks who would like to see government expanding their rights instead of taking them away.

Just as with his obsession with where transgender people go potty, assclown Patrick has demonstrated that he’s more concerned with performing political theater for the most radical wing of his base than legislating for the good of Texans.

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This article appears in May 14-27, 2025.