
Assclown Alert is a column of opinion, analysis and snark.
Remember the MAGA congressional candidate who stoked outrage late last year by posting a video in which she pretended to execute an immigrant?
Turns out that same bottom-feeding buffoon, Valentina Gomez, is at it again. Her latest attempt to stir up controversy involved interrupting a late April community day for Muslims at the Texas Capitol by screeching Islamophobic hate speech into a microphone.
Video of the event shows Gomez — who’s running a primary campaign to unseat U.S. Rep. John Carter of Round Rock — approach a podium disguised in a hijab. After tearing off the headscarf, she shouts into the mic that is Islam a “religion of rape, incest and pedophilia, where they bow down to a stupid rock.”
As security personnel escorted her away, Gomez, clad in a powder blue pantsuit and high heels, can be heard shouting “this is a Christian nation” over the boos and shouts of “Allahu Akbar” coming from the gathering’s attendees.
If there’s any consolation to be had here, it’s that the past track record of Gomez, a 20-something New Jersey transplant, suggests she’s not likely to get elected no matter how much hateful hot air she expels.
Her previous attempt to hold political office — a bid last year to land the GOP nomination for Missouri Secretary of State — ended with her finishing sixth out of eight candidates with less than 8% of the vote.
Her stunts during that campaign included making a litany of anti-LGBTQIA+ slurs, staging an on-camera book burning and telling Black Americans shortly before the Juneteenth holiday to “get the fuck out” of the country if they want reparations for slavery.
Here’s hoping the assclown’s gales of noxious mouth farts soon blow her clear of the Lone Star State.
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This article appears in Apr 30 – May 13, 2025.

