Now-former Texas Rep. Bryan Slaton claimed to be protecting young people from sexual predators as he championed anti-LGBTQ+ bills during the 2023 session. The Texas House unanimously voted to expel Slaton that same session, one day after he submitted his resignation after an internal investigation determined that he had sex with a 19-year-old aide after getting her drunk. Credit: Wikimedia Commons / Gage Skidmore

Assclown Alert is a column of opinion, analysis and snark.

Things certainly don’t look good right now for State Rep. Bryan Slaton, one the Texas House’s most outspoken social conservatives and the lawmaker behind a bill that would ban all-ages drag shows over the “sexualization of our children.”

A Capitol staffer has alleged in an internal complaint that the married Slaton, R-Royse City, had an “inappropriate relationship” with an intern who’s under the age of 21, according to the Quorum Report. Citing a person with direct knowledge of the situation, the Texas Tribune also reported that Slaton and the intern consumed alcohol together.

The House General Investigating Committee, which has the ability to draft articles of impeachment, is looking into the case, and has issued four subpoenas as of a Friday meeting, according to the Tribune’s reporting.

While Slaton’s attorney has issued a media statement blasting the allegations as “false,” some of the House’s furthest-right members are already demanding the resignation of their one-time ally. Via twitter, Republican Reps. Briscoe Cain and Steve Toth called on him to give up his seat.

The allegations are especially stinging for Slaton considering that he often couches his rabid anti-LGBTQ+ sentiments in the notion that he’s trying to protect kids. Testimonials from churchgoers on his campaign website also note his years of service as a youth pastor.

In addition to his drag show bill, Slaton this session attempted to require anyone who chairs a House committee to publicly state that they only believe in the existence of two genders, and he also filed a bill that would give property tax cuts only to straight married couples, denying them to LGBTQ+ homeowners and those who have been divorced.

Also not aging well is a tweet Slaton made earlier this month of a Bible verse admonishing people who lead children astray: “But whoever causes the downfall of these little ones who believe in Me — it would be better for him if a heavy millstone were hung around his neck and he were drowned in the depths of the sea!”

Looks like members of this assclown’s own party are now lining up with a millstone.

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This article appears in Apr 19 – May 2, 2023.

Sanford Nowlin is editor-in-chief of the San Antonio Current. He holds degrees from Trinity University and the University of Texas at San Antonio, and his work has been featured in Salon, Alternet, Creative...