Ken Paxton appears at a speaking event in Scottsdale, Arizona. Credit: Wikimedia Commons / Gage Skidmore

Assclown Alert is a column of opinion, analysis and snark.

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton sure does smirk a lot when he has his photo taken.

Seems likely the Republican culture warrior’s state of perpetually snide amusement comes down to Texans reelecting him three times despite his complete disdain for their needs. During his time as the state’s top cop, Paxton’s shown more interest in engaging in divisive politics and furthering his own ambitions than looking out for the regular folks who keep voting for him.

For a second, let’s leave aside Paxton’s impeachment in the Texas House, the since-dropped felony securities fraud case against him and his laughable Supreme Court lawsuit to overturn Donald Trump’s loss in the 2020 election.

Sleazy to be sure, but let’s focus on the here and now. In recent days, Paxton had two big chances to show just where his allegiances lie. Both times, he demonstrated that they lie squarely with Trump — and that he thinks the people of Texas can go fuck themselves using lube they spent their own hard-earned cash to buy.

Exhibit A is a lawsuit Democratic attorneys general from 22 states filed against the Trump administration to block a National Institutes of Health policy change that would decimate research budgets for universities, medical centers and other institutions. Within hours, a federal judge issued a temporary halt to the order and set a hearing to determine its ultimate legality.

The NIH order endangers $444 million in support for Lone Star State research institutions that create jobs, intellectual property and contribute to the economy, according to a Texas Tribune report. Even so, Paxton was nowhere to be seen.

Even if he didn’t want to throw in with Democrat AGs, he could have filed his own suit to protect Texas. But he didn’t. For someone who’s taken such delight in suing the feds over the years, it was a chickenshit move.

Then there’s Paxton’s response to growing concerns that unelected billionaire Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) accessed Americans’ most-sensitive private data as its staff parsed through Treasury Department records.

Nineteen AGs filed suit in response, but once again, Paxton — who’s previously gone after tech companies for purported invasions of Texans’ privacy — sat on the sidelines. No, scratch that. Kenny Boy didn’t just sit on the sidelines, he cheered from the sidelines.

When the Express-News sought a statement from Paxton on DOGE’s ransacking of sensitive data, he fired off what amounted to an attaboy for Trump’s tech bro BFF.

“Elon Musk and the DOGE team are doing incredible work to cut the wasteful spending that Washington politicians have forced Americans to pay for year after year,” Paxton told the daily.

Until Texans get off their asses and vote out this assclown who so clearly considers them secondary to his blind allegiance to Trump, expect his smirk to stay put.

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Assclown Alert: Smirking along with Ken Paxton as Trump shits all over Texas

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