U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz puts on his happy face during an appearance at a conservative conference. Credit: Wikimedia Commons / Gage Skidmore

After shitting his pants over vaccinated Sesame Street characters, the nonexistent “war on Thanksgiving” and gender pronouns, the living, breathing Trumpster fire that is Ted Cruz, R-Texas, has found something new to hyperventilate about: Xboxes.

Apparently, the Microsoft gaming console has become an existential threat to liberty because a new update will significantly cut its power usage by changing the default for when it’s not in use from “sleep” to “shut down.” Or so conservative media outlets claim.

Keep in mind, this change occurs while the system isn’t being used. In other words, no one is having their game of Grand Theft Auto XXVIII shut down in the middle of a kidnapping or shooting spree. Further, users who still want their Xbox to go into the “sleep” mode can do that, according to Microsoft.

Even so, Troubled Ted shared a shrill warning about Xbox’s new “woke” agenda from conservative propaganda outlet the Blaze and warned consumers that the libs were out to destroy any household item that makes life fun.

“First gas stoves, then your coffee, now they’re gunning for your Xbox,” Cruz tweeted, even though no one is threatening to take away people’s gaming consoles.

Never mind that the conspiracy to unhook Americans’ gas stoves that Cruz mentioned turned out to be utter bullshit. And that the Princeton- and Harvard-educated senator is clearly smart enough to know it’s utter bullshit.

Stepping back, though, who can blame him for jumping on the latest right-wing outrage of the week?

When you’ve staked your entire political brand on outrage and a new breed of wingnuts, including U.S. Reps. Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert, has ratcheted the rhetoric up to even crazier levels, you’d better keep the bullshit flowing to stay relevant.

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This article appears in Jan 25 – Feb 7, 2023.

Sanford Nowlin is editor-in-chief of the San Antonio Current. He holds degrees from Trinity University and the University of Texas at San Antonio, and his work has been featured in Salon, Alternet, Creative...