Has anyone told this man that “Ted” isn’t his legal first name? Credit: Wikimedia Commons / Gage Skidmore

Another day, another internet fail from U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz.

In the latest of the Texas Republican’s online fights to go horribly, horribly wrong, he tweeted a cheap shot at California state Sen. Scott Wiener, accusing the Democrat of being “thrown out of Congress for sending naked pictures of himself.”

Except there’s a problem: Cruz apparently confused the target of his ire with former U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner, who left Congress after reportedly sending dick pics to women on social media, according to news site LGBTQ Nation, which first reported on Cruz’s latest blunder.

(In case anyone really cares, the online exchange was prompted by Wiener criticizing Cruz’s treament of a man who would be the first Muslim American federal appeals court judge in history during a confirmation hearing.)

It’s easy to imagine Cruz — an attorney who likes to paint himself as the intellectual champion of the GOP’s Tea Party wing — smirking at the nastiness of his feisty comeback, but he didn’t even bother to do the most basic of homework before letting his fingers do the talking. Here’s just how badly Cruz got shit wrong, according to LGBTQ Nation’s reporting:

  • Scott Wiener’s last name isn’t spelled the same as Anthony Weiner’s.
  • The two Democrats are from opposite coasts. Scott Wiener is in the California Senate, while Anthony Weiner represented New York in the U.S. House.
  • Scott Wiener actually attended Harvard Law School with Cruz in the 1990s, so maybe the Senator should have at least a vague fucking recollection of the guy.

While it’s tempting to lay into Cruz for his latest failed attempt at owning the libs, we can’t really top the comeback Wiener fired back: “Ted, remember when we went to law school together & everyone hated you?”

Ouch.

But, then, Cruz brought that one on himself. As he does so often.

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This article appears in Mar 20 – Apr 2, 2024.

Sanford Nowlin is editor-in-chief of the San Antonio Current. He holds degrees from Trinity University and the University of Texas at San Antonio, and his work has been featured in Salon, Alternet, Creative...