Remember when U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz got mercilessly booed when he appeared on ESPN’s College GameDay to tout his Protect College Sports Act from the sidelines of a University of Texas football game?
Sure, you do. It was only a week or so ago.
Turns out the writers on comedian John Oliver’s HBO political satire show Last Week Tonight also remembered and composed a Dr. Seuss-style tribute to the Texas senator’s attempt to sell his bill, which was largely drowned out by people chanting “Ted, you suck.”
During Sunday’s Last Week Tonight, Oliver opined that Cruz got “the exact reception he deserves” from sports fans. While much of that may have stemmed from the senator’s politics, we’d wager at least some came down to the fabled “Cruz curse.”
Here’s the rhyme Oliver then launched into. For those who have burned through so many brain cells you don’t remember kindergarten and 1st grade, the inspiration was clearly Seuss’ Green Eggs and Ham. Yes, the same book Cruz read from during his now infamous anti-Obamacare filibuster.
I do not like that man Ted Cruz.
I do not like him on the news.
I do not like him talking sports.
I do not like him wearing shorts.
I do not like him on TV.
I do not like him trying to flee.
I do not like him in a tux.
But I love him being told he sucks.
If Cruz ends up running for president in 2028 — as he’s widely hinted he will — there’s a good chance we’ll see this Seussian ode to his suckdom being replayed many times.
Texas politics is a mess. We make it a readable mess.
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