Fireball’s new Footbawl Cards are available now. Credit: Courtesy Photo / Fireball Cinnamon Whisky

San Antonians who exalt in weekend sportsballing during the cooler months can now troll their friends and family with Fireball Cinnamon Whisky’s new Footbawl Cards — “sympathy cards” with spicy messages and a 50mL shooter of Fireball tucked inside.

You read that right: a way to talk trash and send your friends alcoholic trash, all in one package.

Available now, the Fireball Footbawl Cards feature four designs that aim to pour some cinnamon spice in the wounds of losing fans around the nation. Multiple roast-worthy phrases also mean the cards can be delivered to the same person each week if the occasion calls for it, the company said.

One card reads: “One word to describe your weekend? OUCH. Here’s a burn that actually feels good.” We can safely say our feelings would be hurt to receive any amount of the overly-spiced, cinnamon-flavored booze, whether or not it was accompanied by a good-natured yet spicy sentiment.

In any case, the Canadian-born, Kentucky-made sauce will deliver the Footbawl Cards to fans in Arkansas, California, Colorado, Florida, Massachusetts, Nevada, New Jersey, New York and Texas. Each card is $1.99 and will be available for delivery throughout the season or while supplies last. Expedited shipping is included.

Obviously, these are intended for adults of legal drinking age.

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This article appears in Sep 6-19, 2023.

Nina Rangel uses nearly 20 years of experience in the foodservice industry to tell the stories of movers and shakers in the food scene in San Antonio. As the Food + Nightlife Editor for the San Antonio...