San Antonians with feelings about their ex can send them a scorpion Valentine, courtesy of Topo Chico

Topo Chico Hard Seltzer is the latest brand rolling out a Valentine’s Day marketing scheme that’s all about getting back at a slippery ex.

The bubbly libation maker on Monday introduced its Scorpion Valentine initiative, which lets lovers feeling “stung” this V Day spend $7 to send their ex an ethically sourced, safe-to-eat scorpion, replete with heart-shaped packaging.

Since the passive-aggressive program is still a marketing scheme, Topo Chico dips the predatory arachnids in a strawberry guava coating inspired by the brand’s signature seltzer flavor, according to a news release.

Scorpion Valentines will be available from the Topo Chico Hard Seltzer website starting Feb. 10 at 7 a.m. Purchasers need only fill out a form with pertinent info, and the seltzer purveyor will handle the delivery.

Topo Chico is only the latest brand to participate in the recent ex-razzing trend.

Among others, the San Antonio Zoo’s now nationally popular Cry Me a Cockroach Fundraiser allows folks to name a cockroach after their most deserving ex before it’s fed to a predator. And, last week, San Antonio Pets Alive revealed its vengeance-fueled fundraiser, which offers to write your ex’s name on a doggie doo bag ahead of Valentines Day.

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This article appears in Jan 25 – Feb 7, 2023.