Dealing with some pesky pests this Halloween? We may have found the perfect person to help you with your paranormal problems.
Earlier this week, a dark red crossover SUV was spotted on 281 North near the Quarry, bedecked in the dismembered bodies of the undead. From evilly grinning babies mounted on the spare tire to Pennywise’s decapitated head dangling from the bumper by a meathook, the vehicle’s owner apparently means business when it comes to hacking up zombies.
And with October being the favorite time of year for many San Antonians who love spooky shit, we’re honestly not surprised.
Scrawled on the rearview window is the phrase “Undead Removal Svc.” – but, unfortunately, no contact information was provided for anyone who may require said services. Fortunately, they should be relatively easy to locate by their vehicle alone – just look for the car with the rotting zombie waving dumbly as it zooms down the road.
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This article appears in Oct 9-22, 2019.
