Ford Holiday River Parade $18-$28, 5-10 p.m., various locations on the River Walk, thesanantonioriverwalk.com. Macy’s Day Parade Schmacy’s Schmay Schmarade! Forget the giant balloons and shivering Broadway performers dancing on New York’s streets and enjoy a floating light show on the river downtown instead. Photo via Facebook / Eventbrite for Organizers Credit: Facebook / Eventbrite for Organizers

Not everyone is starry-eyed at the idea of Black Friday deals and the stampedes that come along with them. For anyone loath to brave the hordes of ravenous shoppers on Friday, we’ve rounded up nine alternative ways to spend the day.

Theater

Credit: Siggi Ragnar

San Antonio’s local theaters have already launched this year’s Christmas-themed programming, most of which is running through the end of December. To replace post-turkey malaise with a holiday spring in your step, you can choose from the Austen-inspired Miss Bennet: Christmas at Pemberley at the Classic ($19-$34, 8 p.m., 1924 Fredericksburg Rd., classictheeatre.org), a musical adaptation of the 2003 Will Ferrell film Elf at the Public ($20-$40, 7:30 p.m., 800 W. Ashby Pl., thepublicsa.org), Dickensian classic A Christmas Carol at the Woodlawn ($18-$30, 7:30 p.m., 1920 Fredericksburg Rd., woodlawntheatre.org) or local favorite Las Nuevas Tamaleras at Our Lady of the Lake University’s Thiry Auditorium ($15-$25, 8 p.m., 411 S.W. 24th St., lastamaleras.com).

The Nutcracker

Credit: Mark Ruiz

Another holiday classic on the docket is Ballet San Antonio’s annual production of Tchaikovsky’s beloved Christmas ballet The Nutcracker at the Tobin Center ($24.50-$129, 7:30 p.m., 100 Auditorium Cir., tobincenter.org). Our fair city’s local dance company may fly a bit under the radar, but make no mistake: their performances are top notch.

Just in it for the Laughs

Credit: Facebook / The Blind Tiger Comedy Club

Seeking mirth but not yet feeling the Christmas spirit? The Blind Tiger Comedy Club is hosting Austin-based comedy duo The McCuewans, a fictional evangelical couple dreamed up by Mike Wiebe and Avery Moore who are here to make you LOL — Love Our Lord, that is (Pay What You Can, 10 p.m., 902 N.E. Loop 410, blindtigercomedyclub.com). For those seeking more typical stand-up fare, actor and comedian Bret Ernst is doing two shows at Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club ($17-$27, 7:30 and 9:45 p.m., 618 N.W. Loop 410, improvtx.com/sanantonio).

Movie Night

Credit: ]20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

Low on cash? Catch a free screening of beloved Macaulay Culkin vehicle Home Alone at Travis Park courtesy of Slab Cinema. As an added bonus, the movie night is tied in with H-E-B’s annual Christmas tree lighting (Free, 6 p.m., 301 E. Travis St., travisparksa.com).

Go Big or Go Home

Ford Holiday River Parade $18-$28, 5-10 p.m., various locations on the River Walk, thesanantonioriverwalk.com. Macy’s Day Parade Schmacy’s Schmay Schmarade! Forget the giant balloons and shivering Broadway performers dancing on New York’s streets and enjoy a floating light show on the river downtown instead. Photo via Facebook / Eventbrite for Organizers Credit: Facebook / Eventbrite for Organizers

Macy’s Day Parade Schmacy’s Schmay Schmarade! Forget the giant balloons and shivering Broadway performers dancing on New York’s streets and enjoy a floating light show on the river downtown instead ($18-$28, 5-10 p.m., various locations on the River Walk, thesanantonioriverwalk.com).

Get our top picks for the best events in San Antonio every Thursday morning. Sign up for our Events Newsletter.

Kelly Nelson was a digital content editor for the San Antonio Current.