Machete don’t tweet. Seriously, this is so awesome I’m going to go watch it 87498237498 more times and make a countdown calendar to its release date upon which day I’m going to wear a machine gun bra to the midnight screening and bump Lady Gaga in the car on the way over to the theater and tell everyone I have tiger blood so they let me to the front of the line while wearing my Miss San Antonio sash. Too soon? Whatever, this rules.
Related: “Machete Kills” Trailer Reveals Outrageous Cast: Lady Gaga, Sofia Vergara, Antonio Banderas, Charlie Sheen & More
This article appears in Jul 31 – Aug 6, 2013.