San Antonio's a city with its own attitude and its own culture. And San Antonians — at least the ones who stick around for a few years — don't feel the need to make excuses for it. Deal with it, or head out on I-35, pendejo.
So, how do we codify what it means to be San Antonian? There aren't laws on the books. The rules aren't engraved on plaques that hang on the walls of public buildings. You might say being a true San Antonian is guided by unwritten laws. You know, the kind you feel in your heart and wear on your sleeve.
With that in mind, we'd like to offer up these 25 unwritten rules of San Antonio. Hell, there are probably more, but let's consider this a starter to the conversation.
The 25 unwritten rules of San Antonio
By San Antonio Current Staff on Fri, Jan 13, 2023 at 10:51 am
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Photo by Jaime Monzon
What happens at Fiesta stays at Fiesta.
Photo by Michael Karlis
The hot local gossip is just as likely to be about your councilperson as Mrs. Jones from down the street.
Photo by Sanford Nowlin
N. St. Mary's Street always has been — and always will be — under construction.
Photo via Instagram / breaking.bread.in.sa
Breakfast tastes better when it comes wrapped in foil.
Photo via Google Maps
Who cares if Ghost Tracks was debunked? That shit is real.
Photo via Instagram / puropinchesa
You can raise enough money for any relative's life-saving operation with a barbecue plate sale.
Photo via Warner Bros.
You can never watch Selena too many times.
Photo via Twitter / AngelaM_10_
You can talk as much shit about San Antonio as you want, but only if you're from here.
Photo via Twitter / BrianRayy_
Grudges against those who've betrayed the Spurs have no expiration date. (Looking at you, Kawhi Leonard.)
Photo by Sanford Nowlin
Every time you visit an older neighborhood, point out what wasn't there two years ago — and how dangerous it was five years ago.
Photo via Instagram / sanantoniostephanie
Big Red is the only acceptable beverage to enjoy with barbacoa.
Photo via Instagram / windcrestedc
Watch your speed through Windcrest.
Photo via Twitter / Blue_Bridge_Rob
Be prepared to sing along to "(Hey Baby) Que Paso" any time it pops up on a bar jukebox.
Photo via Instagram / tonyssiesta
It's acceptable to refer to any place that serves cold beer as an "ice house."
Photo via Instagram / tacosr4lovers
Don't visit any Tex-Mex restaurant that doesn't make its own flour tortillas.
Photo by Sanford Nowlin
Any time you drive by a Fred's Fish Fry, someone has to make a joke about it being a front for drug money.
Photo via Instagram / eatdrinkandberichard
Tex-Mex combo dinners should be referred to by numbers, as in "I'll have the No. 3 Plate with a chalupa on the side."
Photo via Wikimedia Commons / Blake675
You will root for UTSA even if you didn't go there.
Photo via Instagam / this.is.sanantonio
If you think there might be lard in something, there is.
Photo via Unsplash / Brittani Burns
Stock up an entire cart full of food, toilet paper, beer and camping fuel at H-E-B if there's even the slightest possibility it might freeze.
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