Posted inAssclown Alert
Assclown Alert: Whitewashing the Alamo’s history with Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick
Patrick’s torrential case of verbal diarrhea would be real knee slapper if the state wasn’t drowning in it.
Assclown Alert
San Antonio Current’s Assclown Alert is opinionated commentary that calls out absurd behavior in Texas politics.
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Calling for televised public executions (in Christ’s mercy) with Texas pastor Joel Webbon
Webbon wants Tyler Robinson, the man accused of shooting Charlie Kirk, to be executed on live TV.
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Spouting off about the Smithsonian’s ‘obsession with slavery’ with Texas pseudo-historian David Barton
Barton, who has no degree in history, blathered on about how the Smithsonian museums are corrupted by Marxist thinking and a desire to make America look evil.
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Assclown Alert: Throwing unconstitutional tantrums in Jesus’ name with Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick
Patrick threatened to throw people out of the Texas Senate chamber for not standing during prayer — something the U.S. Constitution says he can’t do.
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Assclown Alert: Chip Roy high fives colleagues after passing the budget bill he called ‘garbage’
Few love ‘garbage’ more than Oscar the Grouch — except Roy, a congressman who represents San Antonio and Austin.
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Assclown Alert: Crusading against the demon weed with Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick
The lieutenant governor claimed without proof that Texas smoke shops are being operated by foreign terrorist organizations.
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Assclown Alert: Pining for the bad old days of DOGE with Texas Congressman Chip Roy
Despite DOGE’s record for creating chaos and failing to find waste and fraud, Roy filed a bill to make it permanent.
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Assclown Alert: Banning THC for the sake of political theater with Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick
If you’re angry about the state’s pending ban on THC-containing hemp, look no further than Patrick.
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Assclown Alert: Spreading anti-Muslim bigotry with Texas congressional candidate Valentina Gomez
Gomez is the same bigot who posted a clip of herself pretending to execute a migrant and staged an on-camera LGBTQIA+ book burning.
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Assclown Alert: Peddling Bibles amended with Christian nationalist propaganda with David Barton
The Texas-based pseudo-historian wants to sell your mom his own special version of the Good Book.
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Assclown Alert: Suppressing the vote with U.S. Rep. Chip Roy
The Austin-San Antonio congressman’s SAVE Act would disenfranchise millions of U.S. voters.
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Hurling insults like a middle school bully with Texas Congressman Troy Nehls
Nehls posted a two-minute video melting down over Tim Walz and Beto O’Rourke visiting his district and called both men ‘radical left lunatics.’
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Assclown Alert: Forcing Christianity down Texas school kids’ throats with State Sen. Phil King
King’s Senate Bill 10 would require the Ten Commandments to be posted in every public school classroom.
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Assclown Alert: Cowering before the anti-vaccine crowd with Texas Gov. Greg Abbott
The governor has said next to nothing about the state’s worsening measles outbreak and still hasn’t urged anyone to get jabbed to slow the spread.
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Assclown Alert: Smirking along with Ken Paxton as Trump shits all over Texas
The Texas Attorney General had two big chances last week to protect the state. He blew both of them.
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Assclown Alert: Puckering up to the Great Orange Leader with U.S. Sen. John Cornyn
Cornyn has dragged himself to new lows of bootlicking subservience to Trump.
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Assclown Alert: Making false claims based on a ‘gut feeling’ with incoming ‘border czar’ Tom Homan
Homan claimed without proof on Fox News that the New Orleans and Las Vegas attacks were directly connected.
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Assclown Alert: Bragging about Texas’ dismal funding of public education with Gov. Greg Abbott
The Lone Star State ranks 37th in the nation in per-student spending and 42nd in per-student funding.
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Assclown Alert: Conflating rape and sexual indiscretion with U.S. Rep. Chip Roy
Roy, an Austin-San Antonio congressman, made the remark while defending Trump nominee Pete Hegseth.
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Promising hellfire and damnation to non-Trump voters with Texas preacher Kenneth Copeland
The pastor said Jesus has a special punishment waiting for anyone who voted against Trump or didn’t bother to vote.