Imagine working as an elf dressed in a green velvet outfit at Macy’s department store. That’s the idea behind The Santaland Diaries, a one-man show returning to the stage courtesy of The Classic Theater of San Antonio. Based on the essay by David Sedaris (originally read on NPR’S Morning Edition in 1992), The Santaland Diaries recounts Sedaris’ real-life experiences as his alter ego, the disgruntled Crumpet the Elf, one unfortunate holiday season. Bart Roush directs John Stillwagon (as Crumpet the Elf) in The Classic’s production.