Left: Shaun Nix/Netflix © 2023; Right: Wikimedia Commons / Gage Skidmore
Good Neighbors: According to a new standup routine, Tom Segura (left) doesn't quite know what to make of his neighbor Ted Cruz.
In a deleted scene from his new Netflix special Sledgehammer, standup comic Tom Segura shared what he claims was his first encounter with a "current or former U.S. Senator" who "may or may not be" the Texas Republican after moving into the same neighborhood. And it sounds bizarro — even by Cruz standards.
The story — as Segura tells it, anyway — goes like this.
While Segura was taking a walk in his new neighborhood, the senator — whom the comic didn't name at his point — opened his door and posed a beyond-awkward greeting.
"Hey! You're the comedian?" the senator asked. "Where do you think the term 'motherfucker' comes from?"
Segura replied that he didn't know, but that apparently wasn't enough to end the discussion.
“Do you think it’s from people doing that?” the senator asked.
With the conversation clearly sputtering, the nosy politician purportedly asked Segura about the etymology of the term "daughterfuckers."
"I go, 'First of all, that's not an expression anybody actually uses,'" Segura said in the routine. "I go, 'If you have kinks, we can talk about them, but not like this. I don't like this at all.'"
The senator responded by ambling back into his house.
As Segura finished his walk, "contemplating every mistake I've ever made to lead me to that conversation," he passed the same home. The senator popped back out again, saying he didn't want the conversation to end the way it did.
"That was weird," the politico allegedly said. (And, if Segura's telling the truth, the word "weird" may be the understatement of the decade.)
In an apparent attempt to steer things back to normality, the senator informed Segura that he's further pondered the meaning of the word "motherfucker" and offered up a more conventional take on the word's origin.
“Wow! I am so impressed that you put that together so quickly!" Segura said, speaking as if to a child. "I can see why you may or may not be Ted Cruz."
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