Since he’s been traipsing across the Pacific Northwest — and beyond — for the past 10 years, he’s never experienced the cultural phenomenon known as Fiesta San Antonio as an adult, so he needs advice.
Lots of it.
So, we decided to give Brandon a helping hand and catalog tips and tricks for surviving the 10-day jamboree of parades, carnivals, concerts and parties. Many may feel the impulse to offer less-than-helpful advice such as “don’t go,” “leave town” or “stay home, turn off the air conditioner and drink warm beer for a much more affordable DIY version.” Understandable stances to have, to be sure. But for this first-timer, we’re going to try to be more positive in our collection of Fiesta hacks.
We scoured online conversation boards and tapped our party-going friends and colleagues. Here’s our top advice.
Do
- Eat food that’s served on a stick or tortilla only.
- Bust out the guayaberas and Mexican dresses.
- Imbibe responsibly. It stops being fun as soon as someone needs a babysitter.
- Collect medals, and don't be afraid to trade them!
- Secure your wallet and cell phone.
- Carry a small supply of your own toilet paper.
- Bring only the essentials. Fiesta is not the place for an oversized purse.
- Make friends with private party hosts, especially for King William Fair and NIOSA.
- Pack some type of antibacterial soap product.
- Carry cash over credit cards.
- Scream “Show us your shoes!” at float-riding royalty during parades.
- Choose comfy, closed-toe shoes that you can clean or throw away.
- Walk behind the guy transporting kegs or ice, they clear the path to get around in crowds.
Don't
- Show more skin than you can slather sunscreen on.
- Get mad if you get hit with a confetti-filled cascarón — get even!
- Let the smell scare you.
- Forget to stay hydrated.
- Carry a purse, backpack or anything that could possibly get stolen.
- Stake out a spot too far from the port-a-potties.
- Drive. Just don’t, for so many reasons, parking and DWIs being two convincing ones.
- Venture out in flip-flops, high heels or any shoes that couldn’t survive a good dousing of booze or bodily fluids.
- Forget to take a break if your patas need one.
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