Grand Theft: Table

It was a Tuesday night in late December. Chris Klassen, better known in these parts as wax wunderkind DJ Klassen, had finished an evening's toil as hip-hop buyer and clerk for Hogwild Records and Tapes, and was headed to his weekly resident deejay gig for puro ¡SLAM!

"I went into my truck and I noticed that some of the records were missing," Klassen recalls. "Then I noticed everything else was missing." By "everything else," he means two Technics 1200 turntables and his new Vestax 06 Pro mixer - the tools of his trade. Fortunately, Klassen had purchased a newer pair of turntables (that, at press time, were not yet stolen) a mere two weeks before the incident, but his remaining mixer was only good for chunking at wallflowers.

A quick call to 911 resulted in only shrugged shoulders by San Antonio's Finest. Condensation on Klassen's ride prevented any fingerprint lifting. "You know how cops are," he adds. "Especially in San Antonio." But "friend" and colleague DJ Jester (not a certified Texas peace officer) has his own theory: "To tell you the truth, I think he just left his shit unlocked."

Theories and culpability aside, Klassen's equipment was jacked, and tear-soaked pleas for its return on San Antonio Living seemed like an idea without results. Phil West of the ¡SLAM!, whose event was sans deejay for a night, immediately suggested a benefit. Months later, it's finally here at a Tuesday night slam featuring Klassen and Jester. All door proceeds benefit the "DJ Klassen Got Ripped Off Fund."

Oh, and Klassen wanted me to pass this along: "All my records were labeled with my name. So if anybody sees 'em, bring 'em back!"

Benefit for the DJ Klassen Got Ripped Off Fund
puro ¡SLAM!
9:30pm
Tuesday, March 5
$2
Sam's Burger Joint
330 E. Grayson
223-2830