Wikimedia Commons / Gage Skidmore
U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz smirks from the stage at a 2019 event hosted by conservative group Turning Point USA.
This week, we correctly predicted exactly what story would be: a yarn about the former head of the Republican National Committee urging U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz to "Just sit the hell down, please" after his over-the-top speechifying at the CPAC conference.
After all, who among us hasn't wished that we could go on national TV and dispense similar advice to Texas' junior senator every time he opens his creepily shaped, booger-consuming pie hole?
In case you're curious about the other nine stories that made the cut, keep on reading.
10. Assclown Alert: Pandering to the law-and-order fringe with Gov. Greg Abbott
9. Padres shortstop Fernando Tatis Jr. has San Antonio homecoming for back-to-back Missions games
8. 10th Annual Muertos Fest returning to San Antonio's Hemisfair in late October
7. Actor and comedian Kevin Hart comes to San Antonio's AT&T Center on Reality Check arena tour
6. RuPaul's Drag Race Season 14's Bosco brings glam and horror to the Bonham Exchange Thursday
5. San Antonio landlord allegedly set house on fire after tenants were late paying rent
4. Another San Antonio Starbucks store now has union representation
3. Beto burns heckler at Texas speech: 'It may be funny to you, motherf—er, but it's not funny to me'
2. U.S. Military to conduct intense simulation near downtown San Antonio on Monday night
1. Former RNC head slams Texas' Ted Cruz for CPAC speech: 'Just sit the hell down, please. Stop it.'
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