December 18, 2020

Toothless politicians, motorized recliners and fart crimes: the weirdest Texas news stories of 2020

This year, it sure seemed like Texas was poised to yank the gimme cap-shaped crown off Florida's head and declare itself the weirdest fucking state in the union.

How else do you explain these 55 stories the Current covered this year?

Former presidential campaign managers were tackled shirtless in their front yards, Star Wars stormtroopers tried to get out the vote, H-E-B offered up a coupon with a Valentine's Day special of lube and chocolate-covered strawberries.

And that's just the start.

Sit down, pour yourself a cold one and get ready for a strange and slippery ride through what may go down as one of the oddest years on record. 
Scroll down to view images

Join the San Antonio Current Press Club

At a time when local-based reporting is critical, support from our readers is essential to our future. Join the San Antonio Current Press Club for as little as $5 a month

With cameras rolling, one of the Tyler Republican Louie Gohmert's front teeth fell out as he spoke to the press. Read more here.
With cameras rolling, one of the Tyler Republican Louie Gohmert's front teeth fell out as he spoke to the press. Read more here.
A San Antonio convenience store clerk received online accolades for her two-fisted response to a problem customer. Read more here.
A San Antonio convenience store clerk received online accolades for her two-fisted response to a problem customer. Read more here.
Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, a former right-wing radio host, told Fox News that "lots" of grandparents are willing to die in the COVID-19 pandemic so they can ensure a better economy for their grandchildren. Read more here.
Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, a former right-wing radio host, told Fox News that "lots" of grandparents are willing to die in the COVID-19 pandemic so they can ensure a better economy for their grandchildren. Read more here.
Apparently, horny Texans don't let much get in the way of pounding off or rubbing one out — not even a historic presidential election. Read more here.
Apparently, horny Texans don't let much get in the way of pounding off or rubbing one out — not even a historic presidential election. Read more here.
All the hemming and hawing about virtual learning may not have predicted a major problem allegedly faced by a teacher at Edison High School: sexual harassment. Read more here.
All the hemming and hawing about virtual learning may not have predicted a major problem allegedly faced by a teacher at Edison High School: sexual harassment. Read more here.
A San Antonio shooting suspect taken into custody this week while cameras rolled used his 15 seconds of fame for a little self-promotion. Read more here.
A San Antonio shooting suspect taken into custody this week while cameras rolled used his 15 seconds of fame for a little self-promotion. Read more here.
It looks like San Antonio finally has its answer to Nathan Apodaca's viral Ocean Spray TikTok. Just take away the skateboard and cranberry juice and replace it with a motorized La-Z-Boy-style recliner and a beverage from SA taco chain Mama Margie's. Read more here.
It looks like San Antonio finally has its answer to Nathan Apodaca's viral Ocean Spray TikTok. Just take away the skateboard and cranberry juice and replace it with a motorized La-Z-Boy-style recliner and a beverage from SA taco chain Mama Margie's. Read more here.
After he sufficiently recovered to return to his evangelical Cornerstone Church, pastor John Hagee chalked up his recovery to Jesus, not medical intervention. Read more here.
After he sufficiently recovered to return to his evangelical Cornerstone Church, pastor John Hagee chalked up his recovery to Jesus, not medical intervention. Read more here.
Controversial Bexar County GOP Chair Cynthia Brehm and a handful of faithful gathered in front of City Hall to decry local leaders' dangerous, liberty-crushing suggestion that folks might want to protect themselves with masks during a deadly pandemic. Read more here.
Controversial Bexar County GOP Chair Cynthia Brehm and a handful of faithful gathered in front of City Hall to decry local leaders' dangerous, liberty-crushing suggestion that folks might want to protect themselves with masks during a deadly pandemic. Read more here.
Police bodycam footage shows Florida cops arrest a shirtless, apparently intoxicated Brad Parscale after the Trump campaign official's wife called emergency responders to their residence. Read more here.
Police bodycam footage shows Florida cops arrest a shirtless, apparently intoxicated Brad Parscale after the Trump campaign official's wife called emergency responders to their residence. Read more here.